Breakups are quite a challenge for everyone and managing a breakup well will really depend on the individual and how they approach it. Every breakup should be treated as a learning opportunity.
After a breakup, keeping an inventory or a collection of all the thoughts of why your ex wasn't what you expected and ill feelings will provide you with a reservoir of information to use later on when you experience something similar in the future.
You do not need to pity yourself, but rather be unmerciful and clear––this isn't the time to be forgiving. What you are doing is making an image for yourself which will provide you with tools to use later. Write down everything that caused it, the feelings it generated in you,write down the things you feel you should never feel and experience again. If you are having a nostalgic feeling about your ex and would like to pick up the phone and apologize or to make amends, make sure to get out this list, read it over and see if you have come to terms with all what you wrote yet. The list will serve as a strong reminder of everything that happened. If you are caught in an exceedingly low-self-esteem lure, thinking you do not deserve better, imagine this happening to your child and put yourself in the place of a friend who was going through something similar. What would you have advised that friend to do?
Once your breakup is final,it is time to move on. Time to get rid of the old stuff and move onto something new. A breakup will signify the beginning of a new start. Do embrace that and channel every once of energy left into it. This will make you feel invigorated and ready for the new things to start. Many people in a breakup get depressed as their feeling overwhelm them. Try to avoid this as it may take a severe tool on you.
Staying busy and trying to maintain your daily routines during this period offers you significant brain power. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to improve your life will keep your mind occupied and prevent from focusing too much on your past relationship. At home,do get some new posters, and clean up everything that will sadly remind you of your previous relationship.
Lots of things will easily find their way into your mind that remind you of your ex like favourite songs playing on the radio, or the restaurant you both used to go to and things in the morning you did together. What you need to do is try to put these things and feelings behind. It certainly won't be easy initially,but time will help you heal.
Find happiness in alternative areas of your life. This may mean having to spend more time with family and friends, sign up to learn a new language, travel to the beach or visit a friend in another city or country. Anything that can help get your mind over the relationship really helps. Life offers quite a lot, whether you are in a relationship or not. There's a whole lot to do out there. Engaging in alternative activities to replace previous ones will help get rid of past feelings about your relationship while giving you a chance to think about different things and different opportunities life has for you.
Staying active definitely helps improve your mode. Try joining a dance class, sports team. That could be soccer, tennis,volleyball, anything that keeps you active. You could also join a community program to help improve your community. Those are things you will look back and say you did invest your time after the breakup wisely. Exercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and also the distraction helps your mind. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gymnasium, or simply choose a walk, perhaps with a good friend and think about the anger or disappointment with each step.
Getting over a breakup also means you may have to remind yourself of what went wrong every so often. Not so often as to get you depressed, but do it in a way that generates positive energy in you. Put things in perspective, learn and grow from them.