Every relationship goes through challenges. Even a successful marriage will come with many, many hiccups, arguments, and rough patches over the years. However, there sometimes comes a point when it’s not worth staying together anymore. However, how do you tell the difference between when it's something you should fight through and when it's time to dissolve the bond all together? Here are five signs marriage counselors say proves it's time to talk about divorce.
Everyone tells little white lies. However, you shouldn't have to lie to your partner, especially about important things like your finances, plans, or feelings. Your spouse should be someone who you should feel comfortable enough with to tell the truth. If you or your significant other are constantly lying to each other about big topics, it's a sign of a serious problem.
Cheating is selfish and disrespectful. It also demonstrates a serious lack of personal integrity on the part of the guilty party. Sometimes, a couple can work through an affair. However, for many people, cheating is the dealbreaker that ends a marriage. If either you or your spouse have cheated on the other or if you’re seriously considering it, it’s time to talk about the future of your relationship.
Lack of Attraction
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that remains true in relationships too. You won’t be physically attracted to your spouse every single moment of every single day for the rest of your lives. People get older, they get wrinkles, and parts start to sag. Physical attraction may start to dwindle as the years go by.
However, even if your spouse doesn’t match societies exacting standards of beauty, you should still be attracted to your partner. If your partner is unattractive to you, your partner will know, and that will affect your relationship. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy, and resentment on both sides.
Wanting Different Things
Couples will struggle to stay together when they want to go in two different directions. For example, if you want to have children and live in the suburbs and your significant other never wants children and wants to live in a different country every year, neither of you will be fully satisfied following the other person’s plan. While compromise in a relationship is vital, you need to be with someone who has a similar outlook when it comes to the fundamental aspects of your life. If your individual goals have changed since you got married or if your goals never matched to begin with, you and your partner need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what to do next.
Abuse is never acceptable in a relationship. Some people have their own personal issues that cause them to behave in a less than appropriate way, and it's not your responsibility to be the one who gets hurt—either physical or emotional—while they heal. If you recognize physical or emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to run—not walk—away.
Divorce is difficult, but sometimes it is what’s necessary to give you and your spouse the fulfilling lives you want. If you do decide that divorce is the best option, talk to a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Even the most amicable divorce is complicated, and a lawyer can help you through the process. They’ll ensure that everything is filed correctly and that you get everything you’re owed to prevent future issues.
No one gets married planning to divorce. However, it can be the best option for some couples. If you notice any of these signs in your marriage, it’s time to talk to your spouse about the possibility of divorce.
Anita is a freelance writer from Denver, CO. She studied at Colorado State University and now enjoys writing about health, business, and family. A mother of two wonderful children, she loves traveling with her family whenever she isn’t writing. You can find her on Twitter @anitaginsburg.
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