How to Ask for a First Date

There are simple rules to state. These are easier to say, but quite often harder to use. These also apply in everyday life.

There is the 3 second rule. After initiating a conversation that has exceeded 3 seconds, now you need to focu on your target. You have just opened a conversation somehow and you feel less nervous. You might feel a little light hearted and your instinct is toget it quick and done. Be more alert now and don't be quick tolower your guard. Sense the connection, but don't fear rejection. By not lowering your guard and rushing to ask her out too quickly might tempt and induce her to want to see you again. Look for something that connects you two as you chat and when you have it go for a bite. That could be something like an event she was at and liked it or some new restaurant she just tried etc. Then you say there's an event coming up, make something up if none exists, you can always change plans. Be flexible. If no link thread is coming up, try to create one as a bait and let her pull the string as far as she can, then you slowly pull back and ask for a date.

As has often been said, you need to be normal , without being trite, you must be like a gust of wind , a subtle moment of happiness in the midst of the daily gray , dull and uninteresting sea of people. You must be in her eyes - and in the eyes of others by extension , smiling , light , confident, funny and reassuring. There's the risk of appearing like the others she has met, which is just one more obstaclein her path.

Just try to be yourself, staying calm and interesting , smiling , funny and light, and if you 're not , work to be and secondly, do not be a clown in her eyes eyes because even though the she may laugh at what you say, she will always picture you as a fun stop along the way,but not someone to get romantically involved with.

After you succeed in asking out, you can always make your last interesting conversation to be the start of another when you meet. That way she has in mind that you have been thinking about her all along. These is one trick to create a connection if one does not yet exist.

When you do meet, always try with some subtlety to say concisely why you find her interesting and what makes her different from others. It should not come across ass too obvious otherwise she would think you are trying to hard or are needy. Say it with some aloofness more like a compliment than a cunning way to cajole and flatter her. This will help to create a more intimate link between the two of you beyond the freindship realm. 

It is very important important that youlisten, stay be responsive and show observation and discernment. You must show her that she is intriguing, has something more than the others you've met , that ther's this sor of singularity about her that attracts your attention. Your shrewdness in approach will serve as an invisible drag on her, suddenly making you distinct from all the other boring and not so interesting men she has been with before.

Once you have her precious number in your pocket and a more valuable connection is established, continue on the same treasure hunting path and you've got little to worry from there.

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