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What Do Women Want?

Like men, women seek to be admired and respected, but their greatest desire is to be loved. As written by the Chazon Ish, the famous rabbi of the last century, "The nature of a woman is to find favor in the eyes of her husband." A woman can perfectly run a company - I suggest nothing here degrading, just as love and affection from our spouse is what feeds and sustains our marriage.

We certainly appreciate when our husband notices how intelligently we negotiated our last transaction or how creative we redecorated the dining room, but love above all is important.

We easily ignore minor breaches if we feel cherished and cared for. And conversely, nothing is more devastating than the fear of losing the good graces of our husband.

Men can think, "Did I not tell her yesterday that I love her? "" Did we not just come back from our anniversary? ". Is there a limit to the amount of evidence that a woman needs? A wise husband will know that the answer is no. And the smallest neglect can cause vulnerability and insecurity.

A friend of mine who has the chance to experience a wonderful wedding, shared with me this ridiculous but revealing anecdote. Her husband always behaves in a very gallant way and and walked around the car to open the door. As she needs? Certainly not. Does he like to do? Not really. But when he forgot the other night ... he said he was probably tired. And when he pointed out that the door was unlocked, she focused on the fact that they came out of an excited children and particularly exasperating full house.

Despite this, she was heartbroken and felt vulnerable. So she wanted to tell him to be reassured that it was in no way a reference to their marriage and his feelings for her.

As trivial as this story may seem, I know that my friend is not the only one to respond like this. This feminine behavior is relatively common. This is also why, Rabbi Aaron Feldman wrote in his book, The River, the pot and the bird, "it is unreasonable to make room for the slightest suspicion."

Surpass these negative considerations simply say that a man must constantly express love and show.

How?

By gratitude.
"Thanks for the meal. "" Thank You for keeping the children busy. "" Thank you for paying the bills. "" Thank you for being there when I need you. "" Thank you for my day. "

Compliments.
"This dessert was delicious. "" I like the way you redecorated the living room. "" It really is thanks to you that our children are so wise. "" You run this house with great tact. "

For his care and consideration.
Regardless of our personal satisfaction or the amount of work we are able to accomplish alone, we like to have someone who cares for us, who cares (dare I say) to protects us.

I did not need my husband to kill cockroaches in my place (although I prefer it), but I like him quieten my fears and anxieties (call me a wimp or a person too honest), I feel like I'm not alone.

When Jacob feared a war with Esau, he placed women and children in a safe place at the tail of the queue. His wives are the matriarchs of the Jewish people. They have shaped who we are today. They had copies of characters that we strive to emulate. And they arranged themselves on the back for protection.

By listening.
Women want to be seen (and complimented on their appearance), but they also desperately need to be heard. There is nothing more frustrating than talking to your husband only to realize that he was to focused on something else.

Whether in the office or at the breakfast table, a man should make an effort to focus on what his wife told him. If it was an important business contract, your attention is fully monopolized, your wife is your most important contract.

I used to repeat things several times before getting a response. I learned to express my ideas and to be followed by a feedback: "Did you hear what I said or should I repeat? ".

By clear words and eye contact: "I love you."

And affection.

Feeling loved is always desired.

Here's a simple rule: when your wife asks you if she has grown, answer her absolutely not ALWAYS. There is no mitzvah to be honest in this kind of situation. But even more, saying "You're just fine" is certainly better than "it would not hurt you to lose a few pounds," it would be better to say "You'll always beautiful in my eyes" or " No matter your weight, I always find you attractive. "

And do not stop there: "I like the look this dress gives you," "It's a nice color," "This style looks good on you." Even an appreciative smile can say a lot.

Because the desire of a woman is to be loved, reviews can be overwhelming. It is difficult for a woman to remain objective and recognize behind a "helpful advice" was an expression of love.

For most women, one criticism of their husband gives them the feeling of losing all balance and their foundations are shaken. A slight lack of attention to a woman could make her feel that her marriage is in jeopardy, let alone a hard word or severe criticism!

Some husbands think it is their duty to help their women through constructive criticism. Wrong. Not only your wife will not advance, but will be destroyed and your marriage too.

It is always necessary to approach things with love, sensitivity and kindness so your wife can accept and respond appropriately.

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