I recently found an old article on my HDD. I was planning to get around finishing it up but never got to it.
So when I found it, I started reading through it again and I found out why.
I decided to finish it and noticed I had to go into an old mindset of mine that I thought was long gone. Reading it might even do more harm than good. It’s definitely very micro-managing sort of and probably hugely complicates a lot of core concepts which I just follow without giving much of a second thought about it.
However it’s hugely detailed and borderline psychotic.
If you still want to read it. Then go ahead.
Consider yourself warned.
“You are not your khakis”
Meaning you are not the object of your possession. You are not defined by the car you own nor the amount of money you have in your bank account. But in reality we are not identifying ourselves with the car, the money or the khakis. We are merely identifying ourselves with the social perception of having a nice car and making a lot of money. Think about it.
The only reason the majority of people strive for a nice car and a lot of money are for social validation and not even personal satisfaction. To a certain degree yes, personal satisfaction is a motivator, but the primary reason is the social recognition you get, or what you perceive that you might get from your social environment.
This comes from a reactive perspective on life; some guy/girl might have told you that you will be happy if you’re rich. Or someone might have emotionally hurt you, and now you want to show him/her and others that you’re not a loser! It’s not even about proving it to yourself, but to others i.e. Social validation.
To change this we must be proactive rather than reactive, and we must first realize the 3 determinism that influences us. Which are 3 social maps that determine the nature of an individual.
1. Genetic Determinism
2. Psychic Determinism
3. Environmental Determinism
Genetic Determinism is what is in your DNA. Like when people say you have a short fuse as your father and your grandfather. Then that must be so. Or you’re Italian, and you must react so and so.
Psychic Determinism comes from your upbringing. For example you can be emotionally hurt by your parents because of you failed at one of their request. Therefore in the future you might have a case of fear of failure and you will do anything, to avoid that potential emotional scaring which can happen, in most cases resulting in complete abandonment of that activity. Rarely do people rise up and conquer their fear, it does happen but it’s most definitely rare.
Environmental Determinism is basically something outside influencing you, your boss, your wife, that bitchy girl from the bar. Your current work situation etc. you let these outside factors influence you mood.
You are influenced by these factors in terms of the stimulus you get. Out of these 3 social maps you will respond accordingly to any specific situation that might fall in one of these 3 maps. But here’s where the self-awareness kicks in.
What is self-awareness?
Can you place your own consciousness in the top corner of your room, and view down on yourself. As if you’re looking down on yourself as a third person. Seeing yourself sitting there and reading this article, like seeing another person.
Well that sir is self-awareness. By being able to detach yourself like this and analyze yourself – this completely breaks you away from being able to identify yourself with your feelings, or social conditioning i.e. you are not your emotion or the idea of who you think you are. Since these can be detached and self-analyzed.
If you can detach yourself from these factors, it inevitable means you are not these factors.
By being something, you cannot detach from it and analyze it. Animals live by natural instincts and programming, they cannot self-analyze themselves; they might not even be aware of it. This is what’s unique about us humans and this is what makes us able to rule this planet.
Because we are able to analyze ourselves, from failures and create new ways of approaching a problem.
This is where we can choose how to respond to whatever stimulus we get from our environment.
If a girl rejects you, you can either decide to respond badly or respond positively. You have that choice! No one can hurt you unless you give them permission.
Stimulus + choice = Responds
This also means that you can completely override the 3 social maps, which you subconsciously act from, and recreate a new identity, if you feel the one you have now isn’t working for you. That’s why an identity is truly just a figment of your own imagination, it doesn’t exist and if you can detach yourself from it then your are not it. We are merely our own self awareness.
However even with self awareness which is a key part of the conscious mind. Our sub conscious mind rules supreme, most of the time we are not aware of it. Often times our subconscious mind overrules our conscious mind and even does it in a fashion where we are not even aware of it. Like when you’re experiencing approach anxiety, when you see this girl you want to talk to, your subconscious mind is trying to protect you from potential danger and sends off the symptom of anxiety, which it hopes to prevent you from taking that risk of approaching the girl. Sadly your subconscious mind is not aware of that it’s actually not dangerous to approach this woman. But it operates from the 3 social maps and also an outdated consciousness that is a remnant of the caveman/tribe times. Your subconscious mind only wants the best for you even though sometimes it hasn’t got a clue about what’s best for you at all. It’s like an overprotective parent.
I’m not psychologist nor a expert in the human consciences. However in my opinion I believe that the subconscious mind determines 90% of our actions and only10% is from our conscious mind.
When you push through approach anxiety with willpower, this is your conscious mind taking action. But when you don’t do something because you don’t feel like it or you do a half-assed job etc. that is most likely the subconscious mind. We can even be conscious aware of an activity but our actions are influenced by our beliefs which are governed by the subconscious mind. So the 2 part of our minds can actually work parallel together. There are many other scenarios and it will be impossible to determine them all.
I’m fully aware of how micro-managing this is and completely mental masturbation it is. It can actually do more harm than good thinking about all of this. However for people who like to delve into this stuff (as me) from time to time I hope you’ve gotten something out of it.
Maybe it even gave you a sense of ease.
But as people we can only be aware of this stuff, but in the end we have to go back into the matrix, hoping we’ve learned something and do what we’ve always been doing.