Different people have a different type of sense of humor
Traditionally, when describing oneself, a person may have stated that they have a ‘good sense of humor’ in a personal ad. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they do, however, in fact, some people may think they are funny when they aren’t. One person’s interpretation of funny can be quite different from another’s. Some can be quite dry and witty while others can have a simpler outlook on what they find funny. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is their ability to make people laugh and this can be what attracts you to someone from the outset so it is important that you find them funny or at least share the same sense of humor. We take a look at the different types of humor and ask ‘which are you’?
Psychologists believe that there are four main styles of humor:
• Affiliative – This involves telling jokes that everyone might find funny to bring people together which is a great trait of good, warm comedians that are family friendly.
• Aggressive – Insults or put-downs aimed at individuals. This is the type of humor that is used by bullies and those comedians that sail close to the wind. While some people find them funny, others can find them very offensive. It can often be a way of deflecting from their own shortcomings.
• Self-enhancing – being able to laugh at yourself and the unfortunate things that may have happened to you without being critical of yourself in a negative or paranoid way.
• Self-defeating – Putting yourself down before others have the chance to. It is a sign of low self-worth and low self-esteem. This type of humor may be off-putting to others and lead to awkward silences where no-one knows where to look.
Using the four styles to analyze humor, you can tell a lot about a prospective date and the kind of person that they are. You may prefer to spend time in the company of someone who has an affiliative or self-enhancing style rather than aggressive.
Understanding your own sense of humor
Do you actually know what style or type of sense of humor you have? What do you find funny and are you the type to see the funny side of everything or do you like to poke fun at other people’s expense? Often we don‘t realize what we are like and if we are funny to other people or whether they find our jokes a bit stale or lacking. What you consider to be a good sense of humor may not be everyone’s cup of tea and you may actually be the only one that is laughing at your jokes.
Ask a friend to help describe you
Maybe you could ask someone close to you to be honest and tell you whether they find you funny or a bit over top? Do they laugh with you or at you and are they thinking that you are the only one who finds your jokes funny? Would they describe you as having witty humor or do they think you are sarcastic? How do you come across to other people? Perhaps in your social circle, you are deemed to be the funny one or maybe you are the one that says the things that everyone else is thinking but is too polite or nervous to say.
Finding a compatible match that you find funny
As well as understanding your own sense of humor you also need to know what you are looking for in a partner. While you may find them funny now, is it the type of wit that will wear thin or embarrass you in front of your friends or is it something that will keep you constantly laughing? Laughter in a relationship is important and if you both share a quirky sense of humor or find the same films or events funny then you should enjoy a relationship full of fun and laughter. On the other hand, if one of you likes gentle comedy and the other one has a dry, sarcastic and even biting sense of humor then this is not going to work.