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Making Friends and Building Friendships that Last

Everybody in the world has succeeded by the help or assistance of someone in their lives they hold dear because of a bond called friendship. One may not have too many of them but each person must have at least one friend who shares in his or her dreams or ideas towards the future. A friend is simply a person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection. Friends are people with whom you can share your past experiences, present and future expectations. The quality of friends you have determine a lot of things in life so one must carefully choose his friends. The condition of being friends with someone is called friendship. Because friends have a great impact to play in one’s life, you have to come up with a good approach of finding good friends with whom you can build a healthy friendship. The kind of friends you make will determine the kind of person you will become. There are several ways to make friends and to build a long lasting friendship.

Meeting people for the first time.
Making friends entails meeting someone maybe for the first or second time. We do make friends sometimes based on the people that cross our paths regularly. The more we see and meet them, the more chances we have to grow a long lasting friendship with them. We can see these people due to our regularity to the places we visit. If you go to a bar for the first time, you are likely to be familiar with the bar attender as you buy drinks. Before you know it, a strong friendship bond could be created between you two. But it’s not just enough to meet someone somewhere and you two become friends. There must be a process through which you get to know each other very well. Then you know if you two can get along very well.
People get to meet others for their first time and they can tell if their friendship will yield fruits or not. To some people on their first meeting with someone, they talk as if they have known each other for ages. In this case, we notice the role of common interest or similarity in character traits. To build friendship, one has to be involved in some friendship building activities. This comes when you see that the person is worthy to be part of your life.

Common interest
Most people look for friends based on common interest. This interest can be discovered on a table of discussion where they tend to discover their interest in terms of culture, hobby, sports, age, background, career, passion and to name as many as one can. Some people also become friends based on their experiences in the past. How you meet a friend doesn’t matter as much as how well you are able to build a healthy friendship through friendship building activities which help you know the person’s likes and dislikes, temperaments, his or her strengths and weaknesses etc. It’s not always possible to know someone’s point of interest after meeting for the first time. But to someone who talks a lot, you can. If you had a friend already and you can’t build good friendship, just start by knowing what he likes and pay attention to them. Knowing each other’s point of interest is a huge way to make friendship stronger. Finding someone who shares the same interest  as you do, is a big advantage to you because it will help you discover yourself and know more about that interest of yours.

Getting friends and building friendship through tough times.
Aside having someone to share your happy moments or someone to talk to, friends can help you get through tough times and situations in your life such as the loss of a loved one or job, through a terrible ailment or breakup in a relationship, marital instability and career choices. Finding good friends could sometimes come as a result of going through such challenges experiences. Sometimes you just become connected to the people who are there for you during such periods in life. What makes a man is the kind of people around him. You get to discover that your entire life centers on people, meaning friendship is a basic necessity for everyone.
There are people who don’t care about others but themselves, and if you are someone who has too many challenges in your life, meeting and becoming friends with such a person could be devastating because he or she will hardly be there for you in your time of need. Friends can help you get out of situations as well as be a contributing factor to your trauma.

Support you as you age
Friends are people who know a great portion of your life and can support you as you age and grow old. There are people who started as friends since childhood and they grew old together and are still good friends. Making friends and building friendship entails more than just being in contact with each other. Maintaining a long lasting friendship entails commitment towards each other, love and the willingness to help and be truthful. Some of the reasons why friendship do not last is lies telling, hypocrisy and gossip. If you must enjoy friendship you have to let go of those three aspects such that you can grow old with your friends. Your friends should be people you can turn to in times of need, depression, disability and hardship. Since they have been with you for such a long period of time, they can better understand you and assist.

Being afraid of rejection
Some people prefer being lonely rather than try to make new friends because they are afraid of rejection. Their fear of rejection compels them to stay in the confines of the walls they build for themselves and shut out any one who even tries to come close. Such people are in the category of those who had been betrayed in the past or traumatized by abuse. Some people just feel insecure with their attachment with others. In this case, such a person may want to visit or work with a therapist or counselor who can help him rediscover himself again and build trust in existing and future engagements in friendship.
In order to overcome future insecurities and the fear of rejection, you can go into friendship building activities which can help you evaluate your attitude towards this feeling of rejection. If you still feel the same way after these activities, get into more conversations with people and be sure to always have an opinion. This will build you up and gradually the feeling will go away. Always do those things that make you feel unwanted and you will overcome the situation. Engaging in friendship building activities is a strong therapy for such people.
Pay attention. The human race is such that everybody likes attention or someone to listen to them. If you think you cannot break the ice to talk to someone though you are interested in being friends with that person, just be the listener and speak when necessary.

You can put away every distraction and listen to that person and gradually he or she will love your company and will always come close not knowing you two had similar interest. Before you know it. Both of you are good friends. Then you can start talking because you won him or her over. So they have no choice than to listen to you too. Some people may even go as far as asking if you have something you want to tell them. Showing interest in people’s feelings, thoughts, experience, and emotion is a very nice way of asking for friendship. It’s a sign that you care. As a result, they will in turn like you. This is one of the ways to make friends. With the sincerity shown by both of you, a long lasting friendship is created, built up and maintained. Finding good friends is not always easy and there are several ways to achieve it. Some may be successful and others  unsuccessful.
Improve your mood. Other people are looking for friends just as you are. You are not the most wanted person in the world for a friendship. Try to improve your mood. Always be happy and learn to smile often. The dominant mood you keep will determine whether or not you can get friends.
Even if you are with some friends, keep a positive mood, you might just be the solution to someone’s problem. This will also help boost self-confidence in your abilities and capabilities amongst your companions. It’s a two-way thing, as spending time with positive and happy friends can help elevate your mood if you were sad or feeling down. Maintaining a positive outlook and mood helps you build a healthy friendship. It’s also a smart way to make friends. Most people like it when people smile at them especially if the smile is coming from the opposite sex. It makes them feel loved and special even without any string attached to it. Positive responds towards friends help build a long lasting friendship.

Help you to reach your goals. Friends are like deity in your life. Whether you like it or not, they have a say in your life and sometimes you even listen to them and take their advices more serious than you do for your parents. That is why it’s advisable to make or choose your friends wisely. If you are trying to get rid of a habit like give up smoking or reach a target in life, these friends can either help you or mare it. Nevertheless friends can really help you succeed or reach your goal with ease. There are some friendships that just from two or three meetings with such a friend, you can tell the destination of that friendship. Avoid friends whose mouths are filled with obscene languages. You people will not be able to boast of a healthy friend.

Friends can help boost up your willpower and encourage you towards success in life. Be careful not to mistake acquaintances for true friends. Acquaintances are people we can just chat with, discuss casually like small talk, crack jokes with and we go our way. But friends could be classified to the family category though they are not our biological family members. There are friends that are even more than some family members in our lives, that is, they play the role of a family member. That is why it’s advisable to be transparent in friendship.  Transparency in friendship comes as a result of sincerity of heart towards a friend and the peaceful flow and connection of emotions. Everyone has an acquaintance but not everyone has friends or is able to build and maintain a healthy friendship or even a long lasting friendship.

Security in friendship

The bottom line of the matter is that, if the friendship is good, it will feel good. But if a person abuses you, criticizes you, controls you, or is a negative influence in your life and causes you to compromise your values and beliefs, then it’s time to readjust that friendship or quit. A good friend will not lie to you or disregard your feeling to satisfy his. Once you start feeling insecure in a friendship or you start to feel as if you should watch what you say and do, know that it’s time to quit. Don’t force it or try to fix it. There are some things that are better left the way they are than trying to fix it. This is especially so if you try talking to the friend yet he sees nothing wrong with his attitude or approach to life.
If a friend does not respect you and causes you to compromise your values, be careful of such a friend because he/she doesn’t care about you or feel the same way you feel towards the friendship. Feeling secured in a friendship is one of the ways to make friends or determine the future of your friendship with someone. But friendship is amazing when you get to meet the right people.


Reduces your stress and depression.
In friendship, you focus on the feeling and not what it looks like. There is a lot of emotions and feelings as far as friendship is concerned. Healthy friendship comes as a result of positive emotion. When you met this person for the first time how did you feel? Do you feel happy around this particular friend? Do you feel better and relieved each time you talk to this friend? This is what is peculiar about friendship. Friends help you reduce stress and depression. You should never let go of such a friend if you succeed to make one. It is one of the ways to make friends. Evaluate your feelings each time you are with that person then you will know whether or not to build a healthy friendship with such a person. Depression is a feeling just like stress. So having an active social life has a positive effect on your immune system and frees you from isolation and depression.


Be the friend that you will like to have.
There is this popular saying that “As you make your bed, so shall you lie on it”. Don’t expect your friends to be loyal, thoughtful, trustworthy and faithful to you when you are not all those things. Be a reliable friend yourself and you will find reliable people as friends. The universe is very keen to give you just what you deserve and not what you want. If you send out negative energies like hypocrisy, lies, and unreliability, you will receive those negative energies in return but if you send out positive energies like truth, sincerity, reliability, and a supporter to someone’s dreams, you will in turn receive those things through friends. Be careful to be the kind of person you will want for a friend. This is to say, you have to work on your character and personality. Train yourself through friendship building activities after finding good friends so that you won’t be the one who betrays the friendship. Be a better friend yourself for a better and healthy friendship. Read educative books on friendship and its benefits. I tell you that friendship is good if both parties are ambitious, pushfull, and encouraging through the things they do and read. Most successful men in the business world today were shown the way by their friends and not family members. Check it.


Building friendships on-line.                                                                                                                                             Normally, most people think that online friendship is easy to deal with than one on one friendship. Friendship building needs time and energy. The effort you put in the friend you see may not be the same as the effort you put on your online friend. But trust me whether through social media of physically, all friends are important and so your attitude towards them should not change.

Be careful, a friend on social media may turn out to be great one in person and even a more trustworthy friend than the ones you get to see on daily bases. One of the ways to make friends online and stay connected is to join an online social active group. There, finding good friends may not be too guaranteed but you will get to know people with whom you share common interest. As you get to talk often, friendship building activities starts putting you people in place as you do it often.
Finding good friends and building a healthy friendship whether online or face-to-face depends on your level of communication and how well you feel about that person. Some people even argue that technology now-a-days have brought online friends closer to us and taken away physical friends. This is because we get too attached to our phones such that if it’s not there we feel depressed. At this point in time communication is best online. This particular aspect has caused broken marriages, disagreements between friends as they discovered that you pay more attention to your phone (chatting with online friends) than  with them.

Give a little time.
Give yourself some time, confidence, take a deep breath and tell someone about yourself. Make sure your first encounter with someone is positive. Most people face this difficulties in making friends when they move to a new environment, school, job or even country. It’s very scary and lonely there mostly if none of your old friends are there. In such a case you just have to make a move  because you really need someone to be a companion in that new life where you get to meet diverse people with different philosophies, cultures, background and social statues {class}. Free yourself from the pressures and demands of the new environment, walk up to someone and talk to them. Trust me, they will respond to you. Some may respond positively and others will respond negatively. Whichever way they respond should not bother you because they are seeing and meeting you for the first time. Be careful not to allow society define you or give you a role. Choose the role you wish to play, and play it so that society can know and refer to you by that prestigious role.
There are several ways of making friends and several ways to maintain this friendships. All you need do is to study and master your friends such that the fault will not come from you. No man is beyond mistakes. If you find your faults apologize and be ready to change and learn. But if your friend hurts you and apologize or not, don’t get exasperated because it’s part of life. Let it all go. Don’t have a very high opinion about a friend or expectation from a friend neither should you be too demanding in that friendship. You can just end up losing it. Give opportunities for people to act the way they feel. Don’t forget that friendship is all about the release of emotion and feelings.

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Long lasting friendship, Long lasting friendship, Ways to make friends, Ways to make friends, Healthy friendship, Healthy friendship, Friendship building activities, Friendship building activities, Finding good friends, Finding good friends,

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