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How to Keep Long Lasting Relationships

By Brooks

A good relationship is one that lasts for long. People find it very easy getting into relationships but they just do not know how to make it last. Keeping long lasting relationships demands some level of tact, hard work, patience and caution. Relationships are as fragile as glasses, beautiful when it is still on, but when broken, it is difficult to pick up the pieces and that is why some relationships do not last for long.

Once in a relationship, it is important to keep in mind that it is no longer a single person’s affair but two people becoming one and this is the right way to start building your relationships. Some people are good with start-ups. They can effectively start relationships but their problem is making a relationship work. One thing you should keep in mind is that for a relationship to stay long, it has to be a healthy relationship and not some relationship where the two people came in because of some selfish interest. You may want to try these healthy relationship tips.

Healthy relationship tips.

Let love be the foundation of your relationship

Most often, people get into relationships to satisfy their different interests. One thing that keeps a relationship connected and glued for a long time is love because most often, love gives you the power to withstand all odds. Love is patient and will always thrive in all circumstances therefore, if you want to keep long lasting relationships, always make sure that love should be the foundation of that relationship. Love builds trust in a relationship and keep it in mind that a relationship based on love, is not built in a day. In building healthy relationships with the aid of love, there should be no rush.

The bond will not be so strong at the beginning because love needs to be nurtured, it has to grow and so it needs time. Some relationships if not most, do not last long because the partners were not patient enough to make it grow. Love takes its root in your relationship as you and your partner share your hopes, fears, dreams and thoughts. It gives you the ability to know each other, to relate with each other better and to form a strong bond which will last long. Love also comes with empathy that is the ability to feel your partner’s mood, love makes you capable of being happy when your partner is happy and being sad when you notice their sadness, this brings you closer to each other.

Another this is that when you love each other, it enables you to do things with the feelings of the other person at the back of your mind. If you really love your partner, you would always want to do things in the right way which will limit misunderstanding. True that there is misunderstanding in every relationship but when the problems keep on coming up regularly, it creates a rift at some point which may be unhealthy to the relationship. Your ability to minimise quarrels will equally keep your relationship longer. In essence, in building healthy relationships, it all begins with genuine love from the both partners.

Try communicating with each other more often

The first thing that will keep your relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse for a very long time is communication. A good relationship is one where partners share ideas together, talk about their problems, and knowing how they both feel towards certain situations. Once in a relationship, your partner becomes your friend and your talk mate. Whenever you are happy, you need to tell your wife or girlfriend and you should do same when you are sad. Your partner will feel very important and special if you always share joyful and sorrowful moment with him or her.

Let your girlfriend be the first to know that you just got a job and let your boyfriend be the first to know about the fashion shop you plan to open for example. Communication is one effective way of making a relationship work. Now the challenge is some people usually find it easy to tell their partners about their happiness, but what about when she makes you angry or he makes you angry or you notice that your partner is mad at you? You still need to communicate. The only way you will know why she is angry is if you ask and the only way he will know that you are mad is if you tell him what got you upset. Feel comfortable to tell your partner about the things you do not like about him, about the things he does that make you feel bad. It all starts from there.

You can easily fix things when you know where the problem is coming from. You may be keeping a grudge against your girlfriend and waiting for her to apologise but what if she is not even aware of what she did? If you don’t communicate she will remain ignorant and you will find it difficult to fix your problems. Maybe you don’t like her hairstyle, her makeup or even the clothes she puts on, don’t stay behind and grumble without uttering a word. It is in your place to tell her, I don’t like that dress you are wearing, it does not suit you and you see that it will save you from being angry the whole day because she may want to change her clothes into some other thing that you prefer. Communication is the key to making a relationship work.

Communication does not just involve talking, it also demands listening. Focus on what your partner is saying first rather than preparing your defence. Set aside your anger and negativity towards her actions and try to listen to his or her own point of view. It won’t cost you much. It will rather give you the opportunity to relate with each other and find out where the shoe pinches so that you can easily fix it. Pay attention to your partner’s body language when they are talking. It will help you relate with them more and sometimes will make you see the sincerity in what they are saying. When you try to defend yourself rather than listen to your partner, it can make you quarrel and of course you can never come to compromise in that state. You will only say things that will hurt each other and even things that will keep you apart. Another important aspect about communication is that you should use a soft tone whenever you are talking to your partner. The way you approach people sometimes also determines how they will respond to you. This applies in all relationships. So also try to listen to what your partner has to say and wait for your own time to speak when she is done. That is what makes a good relationship and a lasting one at that.

Learn to build trust

A good relationship is one whose foundation is built on trust. One thing that will make your relationship crash in a short while is when there is lack of trust either from one partner and more dangerously when both partners do not trust themselves. Making a relationship work demands that both partners should completely trust themselves. Trust in a relationship is usually very difficult to maintain especially when trust was not the foundation of the relationship. Trust is important to keep your relationship healthy. It becomes dangerous when doubt creeps into your relationship because you may find it difficult to build that trust again and this is the reason why many relationships do not last long. Always trust your partner in every situation, trust his or her relationships with friends and family and you will keep your relationship longer. Trust in a relationship is portrayed by believing in your partner’s ability, sharing secrets with each other and being more open. When you keep secrets from each other, then you cannot build trust in a relationship and certainly, your relationship will have a short lifespan. You can build trust in a relationship by showing more commitment to it. Some people believe that when you are very committed to your relationship, it shows that you are trustworthy because you will not have time for distractions.

Now there are cases where one of partners does something that breaks the trust of the other person. It should not just end here, when you discover that your partner does not trust you like before and you are aware that you caused it, take upon yourself to apologise to your partner. It does not still end here because your partner may forgive you but will still not have that trust in you because remember, when trust in a relationship is broken, it is very difficult to restore it again. So in this case, it becomes your duty to try to rebuild that trust over again. You can do that by being there for your partner whenever he or she needs you physically or emotionally, start doing the things which you were supposed to do but never did, be there when you say you will be there, avoid too many excuses and show signs of a completely changed person. This is what makes a good relationship and a long lasting one.

Respect each other: for a relationship to last long, there must be respect for each other. One secret to making a relationship work is when you respect not only your partner’s person, but you also respect his or her interests. Always appreciate your partner not only for what he or she does but for who your partner is. Don’t compare your partner negatively with others for example, assuming that some other person is better than your partner. When you do this, then you are not being respectful to your partner. Being respectful to your partner also entails that you keep your secrets just between the two of you and not sharing with your neighbours or friends.

Another way of showing respect is by taking responsibility for your actions. One of the healthy relationship tips is that you have to portray equality in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners are equal and you show respect for your partner’s person by not trying to exercise authority over the other person. Speak kindly and calmly to each other, give each other some space and honour each other’s boundaries in all circumstances. Everyone would love to end up with someone who respects them so if you miss this aspect in your relationship, then you are indirectly applying for a short term relationship because no one will want to stay glued to a partner who doesn’t respect them, to a partner who scolds them in public without minding the embarrassment that they feel. Everybody deserves to be respected and therefore, to keep the flames of your relationship burning, you need to have respect for each other in every way.

Appreciating each other always will do the magic: some relationships have crashed in a short while because of lack of appreciation from both partners. Keep it at the back of your mind that when you appreciate your partner, you make him or her feel worthy of you, you make your partner feel that he/she is the right person for you and of course you make them feel comfortable with the relationship. When both partners feel comfortable in a relationship, the relationship will last for long but on the contrary, failing to appreciate your partner just shows some level of ungratefulness or ingratitude. You are only grateful for something that you love, enjoy and are happy about, right?

So when you fail to appreciate your partner, it may just mean that you have never liked the things he does for you or you have never liked who he is to you. It does not suffice that you only appreciate your partner when he buys you a phone for example or does something for you. Always learn to appreciate your partner’s personality. You can always simply say, “thank you for who you are to me.” It rings a bell, it’s like saying, “I don’t know what I would have done without you.” By doing this, you make your partner feel important. One more thing, always appreciate even the small things because these are the small things that add up to build your relationship. Always learn to say thank you even if he gets just a rose for you. Appreciate it like never before because the most important thing is the intention. It came from your partner’s heart. Finally, always learn to notice what your partner does for you. You need to do these when building healthy relationships.

Create time for your relationship: one of the healthy relationship tips that will help your relationship last long is when you create time for it no matter how busy you are. A relationship is like a baby, it needs to be nurtured in order for it to grow and for this to happen, both people have to be around each other always. A plant grows faster when to care for it and so too is your relationship, the more you care for it, the more it grows. Stop giving your partner excuses about being busy. You need to create some private time just for the two of you. The more you stay further from each other, the faster your relationship draws closer to its end. Creating time for your relationship does not only mean that you need to see each other, there are many ways by which you can spend time together, perhaps you may have travelled for a six months business trip, which means you’ll be away from your partner for six months. In this case, you can always still spend time with your partner by calling from time to time. Share the experiences of your trip with your partner, tell him/her what you have to do for the day, call your partner first thing when you wake up from sleep and when you are about to sleep. You will discover that though you may be separated by miles but you still manage to keep the bond strong. It also helps you to build trust in a relationship when you stay connected to your partner where ever you go.

Be cooperative

Without mincing words, a relationship will never work if both partners do not cooperate with each other. Every work of life needs cooperation, whether in an office, in a farm, market or wherever, as long as there is no cooperation in that environment, it will never thrive. This equally applies to relationships. One of the healthy relationship tips that will make your relationship with your partner last for long is the ability for you two to agree and always come to a compromise. If you never learn to be cooperative and come to a compromise then you will never succeed in building healthy relationships.

Cooperation between both partners begins first when they have mutual interests even if not at all times. You are not bound to like what your partner likes but it does not mean that you have to disagree all the time. For example, if your partner says he wants the house to be painted blue and you rather prefer pink, don’t go grumbling and arguing. Talk to your partner quietly and let him or her know about what you feel. At this point you can talk about it and maybe you both can resolve to paint the house with both blue and pink colours. You just need simple communication skills to cooperate. Learn to agree and not disagree with your partner but it doesn’t mean you have to agree even when your partner is taking advantage of you. The fact that you need to cooperate does not necessarily mean that your partner should step on your toes without reason. Be happy when your partner accomplishes something and don’t get jealous instead. It is absurd when instead of being happy for your partner, you become jealous. It will rather create an unhealthy environment and then a short lived relationship.

Exercise understanding

In building healthy relationships, both partners need to be more understanding towards each other. You need to understand the attitude of each other as well as your likes and dislikes. You equally need to always come to a mutual agreement when settling some issues among yourselves. Understanding will always save you from unnecessary arguments and you will discover that you can effectively keep your relationship healthy.

Accept your strengths and weaknesses 

A relationship is two people coming together, two people from different backgrounds, with different upbringing and with different views about life. You need a lot of patience and management to keep up with your partner. First you need to understand that everyone has some good and bad side of them. Don’t expect your partner to be perfect because you will never find any perfect person. The only thing you can do is to learn how to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses. Another way is that you can try to see how you can turn those weaknesses into strengths so that you can comfortable live with your partner. Some relationships have broken because people expected their partners to be perfect. When building healthy relationships, prepare your mind to accept the odds.

Maybe your partner does not like expressing himself, don’t always feel bad. Accept it and try to make him learn by doing what he does not do. Talk to him more often. Express yourself always and then you will be surprised that he will learn from you. Don’t always just get mad and start regretting why you got into the relationship. Do something to make it work. Sometimes you just need to work hard. If you feel that the weaknesses are too much for you to handle, then try talking to your partner about it, sometimes people do things without knowing. Talk to your partner about some of his or her weaknesses that are making you feel comfortable so that your partner tries to see how those weaknesses can be minimised if not corrected.

Suppress anger: some people are fond of getting angry with every little situation which is not healthy for a relationship. In a relationship, you bore your partner when you constantly get angry. And also remember that anger comes with nagging. This is one attitude that many people are scared of. No one will want to end up with a nagging wife or a nagging husband. Always try to suppress your anger for a long lasting relationship.

Keeping a relationship is like attending a school. You learn and discover new things every day and you can never boast of being an expert in the field because dealing with humans is very unpredictable. Put these tips into practice and grow your relationship for as long as you want it but always remember that no one is perfect. Everyone is just trying to improve meanwhile there are those who need the help of others in order for them to improve on their attitudes.

 

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