The Signs of a progressive relationship; Knowing whether to hold on or let go

By Bless

Though there are so many different types of relationships, holding on or letting go of some of them may not always be a thing to consider. For example, you cannot let go of your relationship with your parents the same way you will let go of a romantic relationship. And the latter is the type of relationship we will be talking about in the following lines. So many people have found themselves in a difficult situation because of their relationships. Many of these people keep wondering if they are in the right relationship. The main issue that disturbs them is the fact that they have been in such a relationship for some time now and are yet not able to tell whether or not the relationship is headed the right direction. This is primarily because most people who are into dating do not know the signs of healthy relationships. And since the ultimate outcome of every such romantic relationship ought to be marriage, it difficult for them to tell if to let go of the relation and when to, or if to hold on to it and for how much longer. Becoming familiar with the signs of a good relationship will equip you to quickly get yourself out of the trap of relationships that are headed nowhere.

Relationships have their purposes and the purpose of the one we are now discussing should be a means of preparing for marriage. However, before you get to the point where you both tie the knot, you may not be certain at some point if that is actually going to happen or if you are just holding on to hopes that will definitely be dashed against the hard rock of disappointment and breakup. If perhaps that has to happen, you may already know that it is not just your heart or emotions that will be hurt but there will also be a lot of time you must have wasted and energy you must have misdirected. It is for these reasons that you need to understand and read the signs in a relationship that let you know whether to hold on or let go. Of course it may not be easy to come to terms with those signs that show you have to let go, but if you decide to make the hard decision, you will definitely be doing yourself a favor. On the other hand, if you do see the signs of a progressive relationship, continue to watch out for those to ensure your relationship is actually making progress.

Going further than the dating experience

Romantic relationships usually start with dating, and rightly so. When you first meet a lady or guy and you are attracted to each other, you begin to date. Dating is the first level of knowing and understanding yourselves as well as the beginning stages of building intimacy. There is usually a lot of excitement at this level and that excitement alone is enough to keep one distracted from some important issues in a relationship. Your partner seems most attractive at this stage and you always want to be around him or her and when for some reason it seems difficult to have that desire, you are willing to move mountains to get to him or her.

This has to go on for some time and it should lead to the next stage of your relationship which is courtship. Unless you are just dating for fun, you should not allow yourself to be caught up in a dating experience that seems to never end. How long should it go on? Well there is definitely no rule book that gives any precise length of time. However, you can still know when this stage of your relationship is overdue by understanding the signs of a good relationship and judging yours with those signs. If you are no longer preoccupied with the dating excitement and euphoria but are now concerned about moving to the next level of the relationship, then it is time for you to start considering whether to let go or stay on. But feeling the need to move on is not enough to base this judgement on. The reaction of your partner to this should not be ignored. So if you are a lady for example, what is your guy’s attitude towards moving to the next level in the relationship? Does he feel the need like you do? Has he also become concerned about making progress in the relationship? If so then it is ok to hold on even if your dating stage has been longer than you expected. Sometimes finding and staying in the right relationship is more important than making progress according to one’s own predetermined schedule. There are ladies especially who set a time frame for every level of the relationship before they even get into it. they decide how long the dating stage should last, and do same for the courtship stage. But most often that predetermined time frame is unrealistic. Give your partner a chance to see things the way you do.

Do not also insist on holding on if you are the only one who feels the need for progress for a very long time. It is important for us to take note here that people are often great contributing factors to process and hindrances to their own relationship progress. A lady for example, while still in the dating stage with a guy keeps giving him the privileges of married men. No doubt he feels no need to take the relationship to the next level. Why should anyone make the sacrifice of buying the entire grocery store when he has daily supplies from there? Guys too find that the ladies they are dating are hardly concerned about courtship and marriage, or at least not as much as they do and why should she when you already told her to move in with you. She feels like a married woman already though you guys are only dating.

Keep it in mind that a progressive and right relationship is one which has both partners desiring progress and working together to ensure the same. If that is not the case in yours, especially if it has been at a certain stage for an uncomfortable length of time, you are definitely headed the wrong way. You should either start trying to make your partner see things like you do or brace for a breakup.

It is the same logic at every stage of the relationship until you eventually get married. People get stuck even in courtship and it seems like one or both of them just can’t make the decision to finally tie the knot. Process is the mark of progress. If your relationship is not going through the process, it is not making progress and understanding that undisturbed process is one of the signs of healthy relationships will help you know if your relationship is headed the right direction and what to do if it’s not. And mind you, there is a difference between going through a process and being caught up in it.

No more show of affection and love

Love is not in words. And because this kind of relationship we are talking about has love at its core, you have to be keen to know when the affections or show of love you are receiving from your partner are not fading away. When your partner no longer shows affection nor demonstrates his or her love for you the way he used to do, it may be a sign that he is losing interest in the relationship or neglecting it. And if that is the case, you can be sure that progress in your relationship is being hindered. One sign of a progressing relationship is an undying demonstration of affection from each partner to the other.

Making plans together  

A progressive relationship has planning as a central issue. Making plans together proves that you are both interested and committed in taking things to the next level. No matter what your desires are for the future of the relationship, you cannot say there is any progress being made if you are not making plans. A progressive relationship is one that is working according to plans. Setting goals and meeting them. It not only makes process easy but also gives both parties assurance that they are actually headed somewhere. Making plans together is one of the most vital signs of a good relationship. Make plans for courtship and in courtship, make plans for marriage. For the guy, it will help him keep his lady at peace and hopeful even when things are not going the way she planned. You can begin by reading books and taking counselling sessions while you are still dating. Or if you are already in courtship, prepare for marriage by taking counseling sessions, reading books on marriage as well as making preparations for the same are all signals of progress and an assurance that you are in the right relationship.

You have a supportive partner

Another sign of a progressive relationship is a supportive partner. If you have a partner who is always ready to support you to achieve your goals and objectives in life, then you can be sure that your relationship is actually making progress. Support from a partner means he or she is willing to make selfless investments in you and your future. Hence they would be more likely to walk with you all the way to marriage and beyond.

On the other hand, however, you cannot really be sure of making progress with an unsupportive or unsacrificial partner. Relationships are not all about romance and sexual gratification. We all have dreams and aspirations we look forward to achieving and these are very important to us. Being in a relationship that does not help those dreams and aspirations is a sign that your relationship is not going anywhere. If he or she is not willing to support you, he is most probably not interested in building a future with you.

A willingness to forgive, forget and move on

Without forgiveness, your relationship is not making any progress. Progressive relationships are characterized by tolerance and forgiveness. Partners hurt each other every now and again. It happens in every relationship but a willingness to forgive, forget as well as the courage to move on is one thing that guarantees progress in every relationship. If these things are not present, progress will be hindered and the relationship will definitely end somewhere. It is about moving on and without letting go of the past, one cannot move further than where they are. You may be holding on to hurt because of the errors your partner may have made in the past but you need to realize that you are the person holding back or limiting the progress of the relationship. One of the signs of healthy relationships is a forgiving heart possessed by both partners as well as the courage to let what belongs to the past remain in the past so that partners can effectively make progress to the future.

You still value and honor each other as much as you did when you just met

We have talked about the experience of dating and how that partners tend to love and value each other very highly while they date and especially when the relationship just kicks off. Keeping that honor and value for each other is especially important for the progress of the relationship. When you no longer value and honor each other like you use to, it is a sign that the progress is being hindered. People who have progressive relationships are those who make up their minds to stay positive with regards to the way they honor and value their partners. If you still do, then yours is actually making progressive and you in the right relationship.

Trust is the anchor of the relationship

Growing trust also features amongst signs of healthy relationships. It takes time and intimacy to trust people and that trust has to grow. In the same light, increasing trust is a sign that you are bonding together more intimately and therefore making emotional progress in the relationship. And if there is emotional progress, you can successfully build other areas of the relationship and make progress in those areas without experiencing the hitches that may make things difficult. Though emotions are highly unstable, progressive relationships are those in which the partners are able to keep their emotions as stable as possible.  At a certain point you realize that checking your guy’s phone and other private stuff has seized to be an issue with you and he too is mature enough to keep away from such childish behaviors. He or she has actually learnt to love you better and the prove of that is an increased ability to trust you.

You both put in the efforts and make the necessary sacrifices to keep the relationship going

Playing one’s fair part in a relationship to make it work is necessary for progress in any relationship and the willingness of partners to make necessary effort is one of the signs of a good relationship. You can tell that it is the right relationship that it is actually moving ahead when you are just as passionate and willing to make sacrifices and put in effort for the progress of the relationship as your partner is. This is not only a requirement for making progress but also a sign that progress is actually being made. Looking out for your partner’s need and having him do the same for you is an important ingredient to expressing love and giving your partner the assurance of being there with him or her through whatever you two may face.

Your friends and family know how far you have come together and where you are headed as far as the relationship is concerned

No progressive relationship can exist without the knowledge of friends, family and loved ones. These people are an important part of our lives and if our relationships are actually heading anywhere we will definitely be excited about it and would want to tell them. They may not become a part of it so as to have some influence over the relationship but those people we love and care about will definitely have information about the progress of our relationship. If you have a partner whose parents you do not know in person or have never met before, or whose friends you don’t know, it is a sign that you are not making any progress in the relationship. Even if you start out at some point and have no clue about the people who matter most to your partner, a time must come when you consider this seriously. If perhaps your partner is reluctant about letting you come in contact with those who mean a lot to or are closest to him, it should be clear to you that he is not willing to take the relationship to the next level.

Men for example know that introducing a lady to their friends and family is a way of assuring her that he is confident in the relationship and is willing to take it to the next level at the right time. When a guy’s parents know you and understand what type of relationship you have with their son, you both have a greater guarantee over the progress of the relationship. For example, it will be easier for family or friends to call the guy to order when things get out of hands. Guys who are just interested in playing around understand this and for that reason they will come up with several excuses why they cannot make a proper instruction of their relationship to friends and family. If you are into a relationship with a guy who is proud of you and what he shares with you, you have a relationship that is actually making progress. In no distant time, you will definitely be married to this guy.

Mutual financial agreement and preparations

Finances have an important role to play even in relationships. Not only is it necessary for meeting the basic needs and driving the relationship to the next level, the way finances are handled in a relationship can serve as one of the signs of healthy relationships or otherwise an unhealthy one. It clearly shows how progressive the relationship is. How you both handle your finances tells how much progress you have made and are making in the relationship. Now there are people who date and never get to the level of courtship because they never come to terms with each other regarding the way finances should be handled.

Every progressive relationship grows even in the way both partners handle their finances. If you are looking forward to getting engaged and married in the days ahead, your partner and yourself need to be in agreement concerning the way your finances are used. One sign of a progressive relationship is increasing accountability one to another. Partners who feel uptight and entitled to every single dollar they have are not flowing with the progress of the relationship. As a relationship grows from one stage to another, both partners will trust each other with their financial status more and be more willing to refer to their individual finances as mutual instead of individual. Some partners, while dating and preparing for courtship open a joint account where they can save a portion of their individual income as prove of loyalty and as financial security against hard times. This clearly shows maturity in the relationship as it reveals that you have both learnt to give up something you feel most entitled to for the sake of your union. It is a very strong proof that you are in the right relationship. It should be the same thing that happens in courtship as you prepare for marriage and will definitely serve as one of the signs of a good relationship.

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