It is way too easy to fall in love with a lady. Most times all it takes is good looks and probably a cute smile. Being a good wife is something else altogether. These days, some men don’t even bother about attitude before they let their emotions go wild. Sure you know that there are way more love relationships in the world today than there are formally wedded couples. The reason is simple; considering a lady as a wife to be and making the decision to get married to someone is much more complicated than falling in love and comes with even more responsibilities. It is quite tricky to understand what a wife should be.
Most people know this, at least basically and that is why several of them have committed themselves to what some Africans call “little marriages”. With this phenomenon, two people live together as husband and wife with nothing binding them together formally except their declaration of love for each other. No Legal, traditional or religious backing. Sometimes it is the presence of children that makes the situation even more complicated and separation quite difficult to accept. All this because a lot of men out there are not sure what a wife should be or if the lady they are dating is the right choice for a wife or not. Others keep from dating or getting into intimate relationships until they are sure that the lady in question would make a good wife.
So here are ten qualities every good wife should have, no matter their social racial background. I dare say here that these qualities should be placed above beauty and charm in your order of priorities. Just like being a good wife is more important than getting married. Also, allow me to say that this is not a ‘rule book’ and it will not be wise to insist that all the qualities herein are found in a lady before you can get married to her. If the majority of those qualities you really care about are present, then, of course, you can go ahead to consummate your relationship.
There is nothing more annoying to a man than a competing wife. A woman who always tries to measure up to her husband. Being a good wife means being submissive to your husband. it is definitely one of the most important qualities of a good wife. Appreciating and respecting a man’s role as head of the family. The principle here is simple and can be explained this way; every man protects and loves the one who submits to him but fights the one who tries to compete with him. We are living in a generation that has gone all crazy and frenzy with the sex “equality” struggle. Though this is not all bad in itself, we have to realize that many women have actually missed the point. When it comes to men and women as a societal phenomenon, sure women are no less human than men are. They should not be limited in their pursuits because of their gender.
On the other hand, within the confines of a home or family, the term ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ are not equal and should never be regarded as such. We cannot advocate for a society in which the role or place of a wife in a home is regarded to be ‘equal’ to that of the husband in a family in every sense of the word. It just isn’t proper. This is a delusion created by today’s society with its call for equal rights over everything.
Of course, husbands are not to lord it over their wives. That should be as clear as crystal. Nevertheless, a woman who will make a good wife is the kind of woman who is willing to accept the man’s place as head of the family and honor him for it. If you find out at the time when you are dating that the lady in question is not submissive, don’t make the mistake of assuming that things will change. Insubordination in a relationship is the reason why most ‘celebrity’ relationships and marriages do not last too long. Sometimes the guy is looking for a lady who is also in the spotlight but fails to realize that without a proper understanding of roles (which for some reason is more difficult for celebs to accept) and responsibilities, she just wouldn’t make a good wife.
A wife is meant to be a proper help. Contrary to some opinions, this does not in any way belittle her position in the family. After all, we would all agree that very few husbands can successfully play the role of a woman in a home if they were left to do it. Every man who is ready to get married must be driven by a goal and faithfully pursuing his passion. A lazy woman would only be a burden he has to carry along. Some men dread marriage because they can hardly see how the woman they are now in a relationship with can help them if they get married.
Well, at least you can be sure that if the lady you intend to marry is not hardworking now, she will not be when you get married. Marriage does not change people. It only reveals more clearly who they are. Get yourself a woman who is willing to work hard for herself and she will be able to transfer that effort into the marriage. Make sure she is hardworking if she is your wife to be, it is no doubt one of the most essential qualities of a good wife.
Every man wants to get a woman who can both preserve herself and honor her own body as someone’s wife. This makes decency a vital part of what a wife should be. The way a lady dress has a lot to say about whether or not she is ready to be a wife. Those who prefer loose and inappropriate dresses just reveal what their character really is like. A good wife is one who is well nurtured and is able to relate properly with family and society. She is the man’s image to the public. Whatever perception people have of her will definitely spill over to her husband. Being a good wife requires some level of maturity that allows the woman to appreciate and hold on to decent behavior, within and without the home.
An indecent lady is also more prone to having affairs. If you decide to overlook this aspect and marry one anyway, then you must be ready to deal with possible affairs and marital scandals in the future. We are living in the days when a ring on the marriage finger means little or nothing to most men. Some of them even consider having an affair with married women a greater “trophy”.
We all have goals to attain in life. There are so many trying moments the husband will have to go through in order to attain his goals. On top of all these, there is the pressure of being a father and husband which in itself is no joke. If you are dealing with a lady who is negative with her reaction over everything and hardly positive about anything, you will have serious troubles and a painful marital experience. You don’t need someone who talks you down and out of every effort you make.
In this regard, one can rightly say an optimistic wife is like a pain relief ointment. Whatever challenges you may be going through, no matter how difficult or complicated the issues are, a good lady will always be able to make things much more easy with her words and actions of support. Optimism is a one positive character trait that will prove vital for every relationship. But it is indeed even more needed in marriage and should be a clear part of the lady you intend to take to the altar.
I once read the story of a wife who had a way of always mentioning the worst side of things and talking death to her husband. Eventually, the man loosed his job, fell ill and died, leaving her to take care of two children on her own. It is important first for an individual to always look on the bright side of things. And believe me, it is hardly the easiest thing in the world to keep a positive attitude. Much less with a negative and pessimistic woman by your side. Choose one who can talk life and see the bright side of every situation and you will have a happier marriage. When considering the qualities of a good wife, this particular one is just too important to ignore. On the contrary, if you ignore it for whatever reasons, less than a month from the day of your wedding, you will be sorry you did. Every good wife to be must be an optimistic woman, especially when it comes to the aspirations of her husband.
5. Shares Similar beliefs
It is amazing how grown-ups easily get so carried away in the euphoria of love that they will ignore basic principles for marriage. When you first meet a charming lady, all you care about for the moment is her beauty and personality. That is ok until you have had time enough to know her better and understand what her core beliefs are. Well, what does it matter? you may ask, as long as we love each other? It really doesn’t seem to be something worth fusing about now until when you finally get married and realize that you certainly did not think this through.
Our belief systems form the very core and the most basic motivations behind the things we chose to do as well as those we consider abominable. At the very top of the list is our belief in the existence of a supreme being called God, who has so much power and influence over the affairs of the world that we can appeal to him in times of need and strongly believe that He will come through to help, one way or the other. Now on the other side is the belief that there is no such person as God. We all know those who hold this belief are called atheist, and they are usually just as passionate about this line of belief as their counterpart. Sometimes more. It determines how they relate with people, the places they go to, the things they do and do not do, their dressing style and even sometimes their diet.
Next, and even more complicated is the belief people hold concerning the means by which mankind can relate to God. So those who believe in the existence of a deity are again stratified into different groups. Christians, Muslims, Buddhist and all forms of religion are a testimony to differences in our beliefs regarding how we relate to God. I am a Christian, and I believe mankind cannot know or have a relationship with God unless they accept the supremacy or Lordship and deity of Jesus Christ. Muslims have a contrary belief to this and their touches on core aspects of what Christians believe, so do all other religions.
This all goes to say that you must be sure you are on the same page and even the same line with the lady you intend to marry as far as religious, cultural and social beliefs and convictions go. It is one of the qualities of a good wife. Marry a woman who has the same perception over the most basic of life’s issues as you do otherwise, the conflicts that will result from differences will be just as difficult as painful to deal with.
You may not be able to know this for some time, but if you have the opportunity of going around kids with her, watch how she relates with them because it is not going to be very different from the way she will relate with your own children. Definitely, she will love her children and want the best for them, but that does not in any way mean that she will be willing to give them the best. The quality of being motherly should come with maturity for every woman but we are not living in a fairytale world. being a good wife requires that the woman in question is motherly. It is definitely not negotiable.
Look at how she treats her parents, the elderly and other people around her and you will be able to tell if she has this quality or not.
Every man’s wife is his first confidante or should be. She should be the kind of woman you can leave anything to, no matter how precious, with an assurance that it will be well taken care of. Sad to say, but some ladies cannot be trusted with your feelings and emotions, let alone your future kids and entire home. The lady who is going to make a good wife is the one who can be trusted to make right judgments and make wise decisions.
There are also some things which a man will only entrust to his wife and he ought to be sure that vital information concerning family and relationship can be kept secret. The possibility for you to trust someone is an ingredient of love. Don’t marry a lady you cannot trust. Sometimes there are issues with regards to trust because the guy is insecure in the relationship. If that is the case, you have to work on your own attitude towards the relationship. But if you are having issues trusting a lady because you have genuine reasons for holding back, settle it or forget her. No successful marriage can be built on distrust. If you have been thinking about what a wife should be, this is your reminder not to forget the vital issue of trust.
8. Passionate about love
We hardly understand what a person is really in for when they start desiring marriage. Most people are hardly prepared for the different seasons of marriage and their accompanying blessings and challenges. Whether you appreciate this fact or not, you will not always feel as passionate as you are towards each other in your dating days. The reason is simple. The “in love” feeling is triggered and driven by hormones. That is why a person can fall in love with their emotions even when their head is telling them otherwise. The most interesting part of it is the fact that these hormones sometimes act like they are drugs. You can be super high in love with someone throughout the week, then get up one morning and ask yourself what happened to it all.
Guess what, it is not going to be much different when you get married. As a matter of fact, studies show that married couples have to work even harder at their relationships to keep love ablaze. It will definitely help you a whole lot and reduce your chances of divorce if you marry a woman who understands what love is, is passionate about you and is willing to make the sacrifices necessary to keep that love alive. Many will simply give up when they don’t feel love or loved anymore. You can know these type of ladies easily. They can’t keep their cool in hard times or when misunderstandings come up. Most will frequently mention quitting at such times.
That’s a big word that should by no means be ignored. I would spell it in caps all over this paragraph if it was not going to look weird. I must insist that it is no easy role to play wife and mother in a home, but modern society still puts a lot of strain on the male figure and head of the home, and yeah, that’s right. However, it is one of the most important points that a man gets married to find help to fulfill his purpose and that of his wife while providing a conducive atmosphere for the children they will bring forth in such a union. Nothing is, therefore, more necessary than a supportive wife.
There is so much pressure from work, society, and family. Stress is the word that most closely describes what many married men are going through. This is sometimes because these men got married to women who were not willing to support them. At least not as much as was necessary. Though financial support is part of it, that’s just one thing. Sometimes just a positive word from your partner, especially while you are going through a rough time could be the most influential form of support. If ever you find a lady who is willing to support you with her time, energy, words and money, be sure you have found in her one of the golden qualities of a good wife. If your wife to be is supportive, hold on to her dearly and refuse to let go.
To be supportive largely means one has to be selfless or sacrificial. Sometimes a guy may really be in love with a lady but then he realizes that she is hardly ever willing to make sacrifices for the relationship to thrive. Again let me remind you. what you see in the relationship is most probably what you will experience in marriage. Though your heart may be leading you on, don’t go without your head. If she cannot give up anything tangible for you and the relationship, she is not right for the lifetime experience of marriage. Of course, you have to be considerate and should know when you are asking for too much. However, if it is a worthy sacrifice, without any form of selfishness on your part, you should expect a good wife to commit herself to it. In a way, “selfless” is one of those words which closely summarize what a wife should be.
It is really important that the lady you intend getting married to proves to be selfless because the kids will definitely need this quality from a mother when they come along.
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