How to Boost Self Confidence

By Charlotte

People with self confidence are highly admired by other people since they inspire confidence in others. They tend to be risk takers and face their fears head-on without any fear of failure. These people who know how to build self confidence believe that no matter the obstacle that comes their way, they have that ability to combat it. It is so amazing to have this kind of self-confidence; all you need to do is to learn how to build self confidence that will help you in the future. Building self confidence is just like any other skill that can be learned, practiced, and mastered. You must start by believing in yourself and your abilities before other people can believe in you. However, self confidence depends on how one esteem oneself. To be able to build self confidence, you must learn how to boost self esteem. When you have a low self esteem, your confidence drops and so is your performance. To this effect, it is very important to know the signs of low self esteem and to improve on it. When you fail to identify some of these signs, building self confidence will be very difficult for you.

Signs of Low Self Esteem

People who show signs of low self-esteem are people with damaged sense of self worth that most likely began when they were still a child. In as much as anyone can be faced with this issue of low self esteem, adolescent and teenage girls are at particular risk of developing low self-esteem. This is because of the numerous forms of media like television, magazines, advertisement and popular websites that emphasize standards of beauty and appearance that are impossible. There are those days that you can feel a little low, disappointed in yourself or having that feeling that you are not good enough. This feeling can sometimes be a problem of hormones but for most people it is a sign of low self esteem. The feeling that you do not deserve to be happy and need to make some changes to your life also indicates low self esteem. It is important to act very fast immediately you notice any of the signs of low self esteem.

The feeling of Uncertainty

The feeling of uncertainty makes you to adopt strange habits and form strange alliances that you hope might maybe, by some miracle bring joy to you and relieve the endless nausea of never knowing what to do or say. This feeling drives you in your desperation, to display exponentially ever more bizarre versions of yourself. Most often you ask yourself what you must do or say to escape the much-merited rage and punishment that others are eager to heap upon you? Most people with low self esteem do not even know how to respond to questions. Due to low self esteem, you are always in doubst and you keep asking your what’s wrong that you cannot figure it out. The feeling of uncertainty always comes when you are in the middle of making a decision but you cannot really figure out what to do.

The Fear of rejection or Failure

There is nobody that loves to fail but some people’s motivation to avoid failure exceeds their motivation to succeed in their goals in life. Just because they are afraid to fail, it causes them to even loss the opportunity that they had to succeed. Rejection or failure can provoke feelings such as anger, disappointment, frustration, regret, sadness and confusion. The fear of rejection or failure is essentially the fear of shame. People who have a fear of rejection are motivated to avoid rejection not because they cannot manage the outcomes that accompany such experiences but because rejection makes them feel ashamed. One of the major signs of low self esteem is shame. It takes away self esteem and strips away pride in oneself. People who feel ashamed always avoid eye contact and adopt body posturing to look smaller. Shame is a psychologically emotion that is toxic. This is because instead of feeling bad about your actions or your efforts, shame makes you feel bad about who you are. It gets to the core of your egos, identities, self esteem and our feelings of emotional well-being.

Negative self talk

Self-talk have a great impact when it comes to building self confidence. The effect is bad if your self talk is negative. In order to know if you are facing a challenge with negative self talk, you have to start by listening to what you routinely say to yourself. Self talk is that inner voice in your mind that says the things you do not necessarily say them aloud. Most often, you cannot even realize that this running commentary is going on in the background of your mind, but your self talk has a big influence on how you feel about who you are. Negative self talk makes you feel so bad and makes you to look down on yourself. Negative self-talk makes you miserable and can even impact on your recovery from mental health difficulties.

Always blaming people

Blame is a defense tool that prevents you from accepting personal responsibility and the consequences of your actions. The inability of taking full responsibility of your action is one of the signs of low self esteem. When you are feeling so bad about yourself, you will want to find someone else to blame. People of low self esteem believe that they are simply a victim of circumstance, not their own decisions and that there is really nothing wrong with them. When you behave like that, you can quickly tell right deep inside of you that it is a lie and it eventually lead to shame. Guilt, combined with the feelings of unworthiness slowly eroded self esteem to the point that you can abandon all your dreams, sabotaged many of your actions and become a frustrated person.

When you stop following your dreams

It is very bad for one to give up on his or her dreams. One of the funniest things that most people with low self esteem do is to think that they can never achieve their dreams in life and that they are good for nothing. One thing that they all forget is that dreams do not have to be imaginations that are impossible to reach but they are mere thoughts of where they want their life to go. People of low self esteem always reach that point in their life where there are full of regret of not achieving their dreams.

How to Build Self Confidence

Building self confidence is the dream of every individual. This is because most people belief that once you have a higher self-confidence and self-esteem you will be able to achieve more and become great in life. Low self-esteem people tend to see the world as a hostile place with them being the victim of all the bad things that can happen. Due to this feeling, they are always reluctant when it comes to expressing and asserting themselves. They also miss good opportunities and experiences, and they feel powerless when it comes to changing things. Building self confidence requires the cultivation of a positive attitude about oneself and social interactions. Also, in order to boost self esteem, you must learn to deal with any negative emotions that arise and practice a greater self care. Should in case you feel like you are suffering from low self-esteem, there are a number of simple things that you can do to boost self esteem. Below are some tips on how to build self confidence.

How to build self confidence

Have a positive mind set

No matter the problem that you might be going through, always remind yourself that you are so unique, special, and valuable. Keep telling yourself that you deserve to feel good and nothing can make you sad for a long time nor take away your happiness. Refuse any negative thought about yourself that says you are a loser and you can never do things in the correct way. Try in identifying every negative attitude and thoughts that give you a low self confidence, holds you back from being successful in life and challenge them in your mind. That is, you have to do your best to turn every negative thought into a positive one. Spend more time thinking of positive things instead of thinking of things that way you down. This is because, the more you keep thinking positively, the more positive things are attracted to you. You also do not want to be found all the time around things or places that make you feel bad and do not help in building self confidence. These places or things might be some negative reminders from the past, some home gadget, or places that do not fit with your new goals of building self confidence. It is normal that getting rid of every negative thought and things in your life can be very difficult but keeping a positive mind set all the time can help in challenging them.

Regular Exercise

Learning how to build self confidence can help you to meet your goals and to find the happiness that you want in life but it takes a lot of commitment. Although exercise is known for its benefits in health and longevity, it is also another tool that can be used in building self confidence. Exercise help you feel better physically and why so doing mentally. When you are mentally strong, you are better able to take on challenges and more interested in exploring new places and meeting new people. With exercise, you develop a positive attitude and the emotional energy needed to take on personal goals or dreams. Another benefit of exercise is that it gives you a sense of accomplishment. When you exercise regularly, it helps you to meet small goals in life and gives you the opportunity to set your sights higher and to meet new goals. Whenever you succeed in an aspect in life, you get a sense of accomplishment and your self-confidence is improved.

Enjoy doing more of the things you like to do

Doing what you love to do and knowing fully well that it is the right thing to do help boost self esteem. The things that you might be considering to be small like getting up from the couch and going to the gym, being understanding instead of judgmental in a situation, can be the things that will bring you happiness. The day you stop doing the things you love to do best because you feel like you are not doing it well or because someone said you are not doing it well is the beginning of a low self confidence in yourself. Once you have identified what you can do and you love doing, stick to it and do not let your friends, colleagues, family or neighbor to tell you otherwise. One thing that is sure is that most people do not even know the right thing that they ought to be doing. Therefore, when you are on your own, stay focus and do the best as you can, both in the results you get and for how you think about or see yourself.

Avoid Comparing yourself with others

Being oneself is one important lesson in life because it makes you look at things in your own perspective rather in others perspective. Learning how to build self confidence needs a lot of focus on yourself rather than on others. That is, you have to focus on refining your own life for the better and not on making your life more like the life of your best friend, elder sister or like the celebrities seen on the television. Having in mind that there is someone out there who is smarter, richer and more beautiful than you is an important aspect when it comes to building self confidence. You also have to realize that there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you. Nonetheless, the most important thing is to work on your dreams and vision in life and avoid comparing with others. You might reach that stage where you have a low self confidence because you think or are convinced that everyone around you is better in every aspect of life than you. Do not be disturbed because what really matters at the end is if you are happy with the standard that you have achieved so far. Finally, spending time on social media often give rise to comparison between people. This is true because individuals tend to post only their achievements and not the realities that they face in their daily life. With this, you might feel like the lives of others are more wonderful than your own; which is not usually the case. Everybody has a peak period and a time when the curve starts going down in his or her life. Just stay focus on your own life and do not be deceived because you did not start from where others started.

Stop criticizing yourself

A good way to boost self esteem is by learning how to handle and replace the voice of your own inner critic in a positive direction. Every one of us has that small voice in us that criticize all of our actions. This little inner voice can encourage you to get things done or to do things to gain acceptance from the people that surrounds you, but most often it lead to low self esteem. The small inner voice whispers or shouts negative thoughts in your mind like for example “Stop being lazy and sloppy and get to work”, “you are not good at your job and very soon you will be replaced”. These thoughts are not thoughts that you have to accept but you have to look for ways to minimize that critical voice and to replace it with thoughts that are more helpful. Always remember that you can change the way you see yourself. Try to come up with a word that you like that stops the train of the thought driven by the small inner voice and then refocus your thoughts to something that is more constructive. If you keep having this problem in the long run, look for better ways to motivate yourself than listening to your small inner voice.

 Have a strong believe in yourself

The big difference between people with high self esteem and those with low self esteem is not intelligence or opportunity nor resources. It is all about belief. That is, people with high self esteem belief that they can make their dreams come true while people with low self esteem do not even have a dream. We all are faced with uncertainty, vulnerability and failure but it is only the belief that we can figure it out that keeps us going. Believing in oneself is one important aspect that helps in building self confidence. You do not need intelligence, opportunity or resources to boost self esteem but just a simple belief in yourself. Therefore, in order to boost self esteem, you must start by believing in yourself and your abilities. Believing in yourself is a responsibility that only you can take before others can follow. How do you sell your ideas when you do not belief in them? In order to improve on your low self confidence you must belief in your worth, your abilities, your talent, your passion and your potentials.

Use a positive approach in handling mistakes

The first thing about life is that nothing is perfect but everybody is striving toward perfection. Most of the people that you might be admiring have their own weaknesses and have committed their own mistakes. However, the difference between you and them is just the way they manage their mistakes. It is normal that at some point in your life, you will feel as if something is lacking. So in order to learn how to build self confidence, you must admit that life is full of challenges. Whenever you commit a mistake, do not stay there but it is always good to recognize the mistake, and look for means to avoid making that same mistake in the future. It will be very stupid to allow one wrong deed make you think you do not have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe you were not that good in your last job but do not let the experience of the last job to affect your output of the new job. One thing you should know is that whenever you go outside of your comfort zone in order to accomplish anything that is truly meaningful then you might stumble and fall along the way. Nonetheless, it is ok, so you do not have to be worried for everything will just be fine, do not give up but pick up from your mistake and continue the journey. When you fail about a particular aspect in life, stop complaining and move on to look for other great opportunities.

Have a self motivation

Having a self motivation pattern can bring many positive results in everything that you want to do in your life. Self motivation boosts self esteem. What you say or think about yourself is extremely important. If you want to improve your self esteem, then you need the desire and will to do it. You can be motivated in different ways to improve on yourself but what is essential is how you think about what happens to you. You should not only depend on people to motivate you because it is not all the time that people will be there for you. In a situation where you are lonely and there are no friends around when you face difficulties, you must rely on your own motivation to get through the challenge. Lack of self motivation at that time can lead to low self confidence and depression. If you cannot motivate yourself to accept opportunities and challenges, then nobody will. Therefore, you need self motivation to boost self esteem and to be able to achieve your goals in life.

When you have a low self confidence, you are likely to make excuses for not going after your dreams and for not attaining your goals in life. Having self confidence helps you to take on challenges, focus on your dreams and to be a risk taker. Confidence is not something that people have but what they have created over time and feeling confident is a state of mind. Remember that the more confidence you have the more risk you can take and the more successful you can become. Hope you learned something.

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