How to get and keep a real man; secrets every lady should Know

By Chantal

The man hunt rages on and it seems there is yet no light at the end of the tunnel promising a solution. Now more than ever, women are more anxious and desperate about finding and keeping men – or “Real men” for lack of a better phrase. It’s not like there are very few men or that women far outnumber men as some erroneously believe. In fact, there are slightly more men than women in the world. So that means there is definitely “enough to go round”. That is easy to say when we judge mainly from statistics. By the way, the number of men who get to 30 and older drops in relation to women. That means with age comes reduction of men. Not enough reason though for ladies to be desperate about getting and more importantly keeping a man. Knowing how to get a man is the first step though so let’s move on to that.

Is there really such a thing as a “real man”?

The concept of a real man usually depicts one who can commit to and stay in a relationship. It is one of the signs of true love from a man. And in that case, there are certain qualities needed for a man to be qualified as real. Looking at it from that point of view, there are actually real men and the best places to meet men are also something to think about. That implies that there are also fake men. You do not need to simply know how to get a man, every lady can get a man. The issue is to get a real one.

Women too fancy different things about men and their expectations and judgement of who a real man is differs in one way or the other. While one may be comfortable with a man who can lavish her with all the fancy gifts and provide her every need, another may not consider that enough qualification for the manliness test. For this other person, the score area may be the man’s gentleness or looks. For example, some women looking for men will choose a well-built man over everything else there is to judge by. To them nothing reveals manliness better than actually looking as strong and as built as possible. This guides them in deciding how to get a man. So the choices differ and so do the men. It is all left for you to decide what you really want from a man and find one who has those qualities.

However, there are certain traits that distinguish “real men”. I believe looking for those traits and paying attention to the signs of true love from a man, even if you are not very interested in some of them is more important when you seek a real man than just waiting to go crazy for anyone who meets your personal qualifications list. Let’s take a privy walk down the lane real men thread and figure just why you will have to pick from there.

Qualities of “real men”

But for certain developments in character, attitude and values, every male is just another boy. It will be to the best of your interest to look out for who is mature enough from the host out there. These specific things to look out for will guide you through making the right decision. It is an important part in understanding men. So step number one is determining who a real man is.


If you are looking for a good man or just trying to figure out how to get a man, watch your prospect closely and make sure he (they) are not flirty. Pay attention to the signs of true love from a man. Ladies (and guys too) never want to get into a relationship if they suspect there is an another person who could be a threat. The thought that there might be a substitute lady is painful to everyone. A good man is one who can stay glued to one lady, pledge his loyalty to her and frequently assure her that she is the only one he is interested in. His faithfulness is a mere pledge of words but should also make him more committed to the relationship and actually put in efforts to ensure that you are both making progress.

Men who are careless and hardly talk about the future of a relationship are usually those who have other options and cannot really take you serious. The best places to meet men of this sort are usually clubs and other related venues and you should know finding a man from such a place gives you assurance that he will be unfaithful.


A real man ought to be committed to something. He should be about something. It may be a job or something he is passionate about and which holds an important part of his future. Don’t ignore this aspect while you consider how to get a man. A man who is not committed to anything in life is the wrong man for you. Guys who want a lady and have nothing that the lady can help them accomplish are just looking for companionship and that can always be gotten from many other ladies. This all implies that his life must have a definite purpose.

A compliment

Women are complimentary to Real men. Such men are not all about romance, feelings and sex. If you find a guy who is really interested in knowing your dreams, sharing in them and making his fair contribution to seeing that you achieve those dream, hold onto that one, he is a real man. It is funny but real that so many men can get into a relationship with a lady and never even try to find out what they are passionate about or what their plans are. That implies the guy is not ready to be part of your future. Getting involved with such a guy means you may have to spend your time and emotions always trying to please him because whether you believe it or not, it is always going to be about him. When you meet guys who seem attractive to you, don’t draw the conclusion just yet. Check to see if he is interested in listening to you talk about your dreams and if he can make a commitment to seeing that they are being realized.

Listens to and Respects your opinion

Though the idea of gender equality has been pushed a little out of proportion these days, women still have dignity and are capable of giving right judgements in certain matters. A good man would realize and appreciate them for that. Not every lady talks a lot or always wants to share their experiences with their partner. However, the overwhelming majority of women do. And they usually find it loving or perhaps romantic if the man is attentive to them or respect their opinion when there is a matter at hand.

Respecting your opinion, though, does not imply that the man will always approve of how you want things to be done or allow your every decision to override his. As a matter of fact, if he does that, you don’t even have a man. He is a puppet. When he disagrees with your suggestions and decisions, he should do it respectfully. That’s just the way real men should be.


Integrity is a big word and as far as relationships are concerned it is one of the most important signs of true love from a man. Men of integrity are honorable and worth holding onto. Integrity simply means the guy should be willing to do what is right no matter what pressure is put on him at the moment. He should be committed to seeing that things are done the right way.

Women looking for men need those who would be honest with them. However, in getting hooked up with men, they become blind to little details because of the “in love” feeling. Feelings are placed over rationality. In relation to this, work and religious environments could sometimes be some of the best places to meet men.

You can check a man’s integrity by looking closely at how he treats people, and especially other ladies. Whenever you find a guy who always honors and respects you but can’t seem to do the same for other ladies, he must be pretending. How does he hold up himself in the presence of other ladies? Is he flirty? Does he have the tendency to be carried away by the presence of another woman who may be sexily dressed? How does he go about his Job? Look closely at these things and you can know if you are about to fall into the wrong hands again or not.


Real men are hardworking men. They are committed to their work. Any man who is lazy does not deserve a lady because they can hardly even take care of themselves. It does not really matter what his paycheck is at the moment, if he is serious and hardworking, it will surely increase. Do you see a committed, hardworking guy? That's a real man. Again let me say here that you may find a guy who is going through a rough time. May have loosed his job or is going through a transition. Don’t be quick to misjudge. In any case, you can always know if a man is just going through a tough time or is simply being lazy. Hard work is another one of those signs of true love from a man. Are you after a real man? Make sure you stay away from lazy ass men.

How you can get one of those men for yourself

Now you know who a good or real man is, or should be like. Getting one though, is not as easy as knowing one because it demands your own commitment and hard work to secure a real man. Understanding men and gettting a real one is not an impossible task, you just need to follow certain princincples. So let’s look at some important tips that will definitely guide you into getting the right guy.

Be a “real woman”

The anxiety to get a man’s attention usually leads women looking for men into funny behavior which makes it more difficult for them to even figure out whether or not a man is right for them. Be careful the way you carry yourself in front of men, especially the one you admire. Hold yourself in honor and esteem. More so never fake personality. Don’t try to be someone you are not by either faking smiles or dressing too sexy. Be who you are and stake your all on the real you. If he loves you that way, fine. If he doesn’t, better. Faking identities places unnecessary pressure on you and sooner or later you will have to give up. Then he will finally know who you really are.

In trying to make a good impression, don’t go out of what is appropriate. That implies resisting the temptation of excessive flirtation. No man takes a lady who flirts seriously. Even if the person in question is a good man, he cannot respect you if you don’t respect your own body.

The emphasis for ladies is usually only on the man. But what they fail to understand is that men are attracted to women who are to some degree like themselves and have similar interests. Consequently, men who are hardworking will more likely be interested in hardworking women. So before you try finding out how great a guy is or getting a real man, be a real lady. Be a lady who can complement the kind of guy you desire to have.

The right place

No one goes in search of a pet in the forest (or shouldn’t). If you get to the forest to find one, you will return with an animal that may end up killing you. The same logic applies to women looking for men. The type of man you desire to have should guide you on where you can most likely find him. If you are always hanging around the club and go to find a man from there, chances are you will get yourself a player. Serious minded men are hardly clubbers.

The best places to meet men are usually places that portray the kind of person they are, especially if those places are frequented by the man. If you meet a man in church, it is most likely he is the religious type. If you meet him at the club he could be a player. There are really no uptight rules regarding the best places to meet men. It depends on what kind of man you are looking for. If you are looking for a real man, go to responsible places.

Try to understand how men think

Too many women looking for men like the idea of having control over a man. Being able to influence a man beyond necessary boundaries makes unserious women think the man is actually in love with them. The fact is better men think maturely. Naturally, men like to be in control or at least feel that they are in control. If for any reason a guy gets the impression that you are trying to challenge him or be on the same level, he will begin to resent you. Men love and protect a lady who is submissive. They resist a lady who opposes. Men love and protect the one who is submissive to them.  

Be caring and motherly

This may sound confusing since it comes immediately after the point that tells you not to try being a mother to a man. There is a big difference between being motherly and trying to be a mother to your husband. Serious men are visionaries when it comes to relationships. They will always look to see if or not they can find a place for you in the future. Usually it is not all about them. Because such men desire to have you as a wife, not just a love partner, they understand that you will someday be a mother to their kids and will be looking closely to see if you can play that role.

There are women who just don’t like children and that’s sad to think about. However, you have to become comfortable with children and love them if you are looking for a real man to hook you up or someone to take you seriously. Every serious guy will definitely be interested in getting married to you some day. Consequently, he must have an assurance that you will be a loving and caring mother to his children.  

That also means you should be a great caterer. Let him know you can clean, cook and take care of those little things around the house. All these will make him feel secure and assured about having you around for the rest of his life.  

Understand the man

Each man has specific likes and dislikes. They also have traits in character and attitude that are unique. While you are with a guy, study him closely. Learn what things he like and dislikes. Know how he reacts to certain things and situations, then make necessary changes that will better your relationship with him. That is a secret to understanding men. When a man knows that you actually understand him, he will be more open with you and you two can bond deeper, making it less likely for him to leave you.

Don’t insist on being too important

If you are one of those ladies who believe that a man who has declared his love for you can no longer hang up with friends, engage in his favorite activities like playing video games or watching football, you need to tone it down. Even when a man falls in love with you he doesn’t lose his passion and connection to other people or tings or activities. You may desire that he considers you important enough to make these things secondary but never, ever insist that he quits those things or seeing the people he loves hanging around with. If you do, he will regard you as the one who has come to make his once interesting life miserable.

Don’t even ask him to choose between you and something or someone else. Any good man will choose you when he is forced to make the choice but will subsequently resent you for it. That does not mean he does not love you. It just means he is confident he can be with you and still have other people or interesting stuff going on in his life without you taking second place. Give him the chance to prove it.

Be fun to be with

We all have issues every now and then to deal with and while being in a relationship with someone might actually help you figure it all out and reduce stress, you should not make your problems the main thing in relationship. Don’t be the kind of lady who is always complaining about something or fretting about another. Even the best men will not like to be with you for long. Simply understanding men and how they relate with women can teach you to be a lady any man will like to spend time with.

Feel free to tease and play around the guy. Find points of common interest and build conversations on those areas. This also strengthens the bond and makes the man respect you more. Relationships are at different level and the man will judge how intimate you are based on how open you are with and around him. So be yourself and let him enjoy being with you.

Be comfortable with you

Overly dependent, obsessive and clingy relationships are often distractive. If you want to keep the real man you may have found, you have to be comfortable being alone or with other people apart from him. Real men don’t like it when a relationship seems to be all about romance, love and hanging out with each other. Give him the opportunity and privileges of missing you by following through on your personal plans, pursuing your passions and living your dream. It makes you much more valuable to him and greatly reduces the chances of him leaving you.

In understanding men, you cannot fail to realize that they usually need some time to be alone. Everyone actually does so don’t fret or nag when the man you have come to love seems to be spending hours without thinking of you. Summarily, getting and keeping a real man is not left to chance or luck. You can actually make it happen for you.


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Women looking for men, Women looking for men, Best places to meet men, Best places to meet men, Signs of true love from a man, Signs of true love from a man, Understanding men, Understanding men, How to get a man, How to get a man,, ,

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