Did you know that children can hasten their parents to the grave? Yes of course. This is absolutely true and several parents are experiencing it out of depression, disappointment, and shame. But this is not the case with all children. Some children assist in lengthening their parents’ lives by coming to their aid, making them joyful and proud. Any of these ways solely depends on how you bring up your child, influence him negatively or positively and you will merely harvest the fruits in the nearby future.
In terms of responsibilities, parents owe much to their children. After bringing forth a child, parents are obliged assist and guide this child towards a positive behavior. Looking around the world today, several professionals and successful business persons are what they are today thanks to the moral conducts that were installed in them at their young ages by their parents.
When a child is taught how to behave and associate in the society rightly, this makes up his character and can’t be changed in the later ages when he grows. But the other way round which is trying to educate or lead an adult towards a positive way of living is quite challenging.
At younger ages, children are much more receptive; anything they are taught can easily be assimilated and put into practice. It should be noted that little children are quite alert to all that they see, hear, and feel. It is at their young ages that their character and future personality is designed and cultivated.
Successfully influencing a child’s behavior in a positive manner will turn to be a treasure. This is one of the greatest achievements any parent can make it up to. A parent can take on a solid behavior management strategy for this achievement. When the child grows old, all the positive values that were inserted into his life at younger age will continue.
Such well cultivated children won’t show any negative behavioral issues except in very rare cases. Their parents upon reaching old ages will be deeply proud of the success that their children have achieved in life. The success could be in business, professions, living socially in peace with others, and representing good citizens ready to preserve the dignity of their country.
Before we move on to what are really aiming at which is bringing out behavior guidance for your child, it is necessary you master the different behavioral issues in children. This is because we can’t address a problem if we don’t even know it in the first place. There exist several behavioral issues in children which could be caused by a variety of factors say their habitat milieu, educational milieu, relationships with friends and parental failures.
Behavioral Issues in Children
One of the behavioral issues in children is psychosocial disorders. A parent can know that the child is suffering from psychosocial disorders when they realize that the child is depressive or anxious most often in his emotions. The child is having an aggressive behavior both at home and out of home and is experiencing low mental performance.
The causes of psychosocial disorders in children are numerous. Among which could be the way in which parents are handling the child at home, the contradictory upbringing of the child by the two parents, marital issues affecting the child, family issue affecting the child, and a home where both parents are never there for their children. Children appreciate to be loved and comforted by their parents. When both parents are just too busy to find time for their children’s well-being their children can have long term depression feeling in the faces. If children are living in a house where there are always fights and quarrels between both parents, they will have some kind of feeling as strangers thus afraid of both parents. This might lead them to adopt an aggressive behavioral way of life. This can as well push them to be mentally disturbed at their young ages. This will likely lead them to a state of low mental performance in school and in all day-to-day activities.
As previously mentioned, children can also experience this type of behavioral issue when their parents bring them up in a contradictory manner. This is likely to happen when both parents are not having a predetermined behavioral guidance plan. In such cases the mother might come with a different approach from that of the father and vice versa. At some point in time the child feels confused, fearful, mentally disturbed and can likely become disrespectful and wayward if things continue this way. The divorce of a child’s parents will merely accelerate the process of emotional disorders in the child.
Another thing to note is the fact that the reaction of a child to certain events might not likely be at the moment. This can still happen in nearby future. So it is important for parents to anticipate the wellbeing of their children in the days to come by offering them a peaceful and harmonious environment to live.
An aspect that parents should take into consideration when seeking for a behavior management strategy for their child is the habit disorder. Habit disorders are subdivided into several other issues worth throwing more light on. They are body rocking, thumb sucking, manipulating parts of the body, hitting or biting themselves, nail biting and hair pulling.
At some time in a child’s life, most of the above mentioned behaviors are present and are quite normal. They are classed as habit disorders that need adjustments depending on the frequency and duration of the situation. Very little babies often suck their fingers, but normally this won’t last as they will have to stop in a nearby future. If it is not the case, try seeking for professional assistance. This goes same for all the others.
One of the behavioral issues that calls for serious attention from parents is the anxiety disorder. In life, fearfulness and anxiety are just normal passages for all but when they persist in a child, then there is a problem and professional attention should be requested immediately. Anxiety can be manifested in children in the following ways; they are always sad, they are always overexcited, they seem to fear all that is around them, and they see mistakes even when they are about to succeed. Deep depressive feelings can also be caused by anxiety. Generally, parents should kindly observe their children and if they realize such abnormalities persisting for longer times than normal, they should seek assistance.
Disruptive behaviors fall among behavioral issues and should also be addressed if they persist. Some examples of such issues are anger and frustration which are considered pathological. Little children can likely steal at their young ages but this should not last, if it is not the case, proper majors should be taken to arrange the situation.
In normal circumstances, a child’s normal sleep cycle starts from 5 years upward. It is very normal for little children to wake up several times in the night.
After observing the different issues that children can likely face both at home and in the society, let us now see how parents can assist their children or influence them positively to grow on the right track, one that is generally accepted as ethical.
Behavioral Management Strategy
Be an example to your child
Children at younger ages easily imitate than apply what they are being taught. They are always trying to imitate what the parents are doing, what they watched over TV, and what they see their friends doing. This becomes one of their weak points where you can exploit as a behavior management strategy. You can merely teach your children more by action than words. Instead of telling the child to wash his hands before meal, call the child and wash yours in front of him tell them it’s their turn and then both move up to the table. If this is repeated several times, it sticks into the character of the child and before he eats something, he will always start by washing the hands. If you will like to teach the child how to speak politely and respectfully, mind the words that you use and the tone that you use in speaking to the child. You do not need to run after your child every morning to brush his teeth, immediately they wake up from bed and find you brushing yours before breakfast, this will encourage them to do same at all times.
It is worth nothing that your child is receptive to both positive and negative behaviors, you might be making great efforts to put your child on track but he is being influenced by the surrounding negatively. This could be the use of unhealthy words/actions they get from TV, friends, and neighbors. For this reason, having a close eye on your child when you are struggling to give him a positive foundation is of great importance.
Reach down to your child’s level
It is only by getting close to your child that you can determine next steps and actions. Thus, this is an important behavior management strategy in positively influencing your child. It will help you to better know how he thinks and feels. In this way, you can better adjust his ideas towards the right direction. Reaching down to your child’s level means spending much time with him. During this time together, if you find out that your child is using an unpleasant language he might have picked from school or from TV, you will easily call his attention on that in a soft and calm manner. Being close to your child, you will teach him how to behave positively in the house, at even out as well. Little children can’t figure out good from bad so it is vital to reach their level of understanding and assist them in building this valuable treasure of knowing good and bad.
Stay fixed to all your promises
Respecting your own words will greatly influence your children positively. This will install in them the importance and value of one’s words. This will push them to respect and remain steadfast on theirs too. Respecting your promises as a parent will push your child to show you deep respect. The child will have confidence and trust deeply in you. They will know that when you promise them something, you won’t fail weather it is something nice or the consequences of their actions. This behavior management strategy is also very good because by playing rightly with words, a parent can easily convince and positively influence their child’s behavior. Take for example the following two cases of behaviors from three different parents.
The parents of the first child upon glancing over the child’s mathematics exam paper showing that the child has a mark below average decided to punish the child after yelling and throwing bitter comments. Do you think this will solve the problem? I think it will rather cause fear and depression in the child that can lead to future mental disorders.
The parents of the second child upon glancing over the child’s mathematics exam paper showing that the child has a mark below average, decide to play with words. They might make a promise to the child that if he has a pass mark next time, they will visit a game/safari reserve. At the same time, they monitor the child and do their best in putting the child in the best conditions to make a pass. The child’s personal desire and anxiety to make it in the next math’s test has been elevated and chances of making it are very high. If he finally makes it and the parents keep to their words, this will give them additional points and a better position to influence their child to do the right things by playing with his desires.
Carefully pick out the battles to make with your child
Lao-tse, the Chinese wise man once said if there are no laws, there shall be no law breakers. Of course that makes deep sense. Choosing battles to fight with your child is unavoidable when bringing out a successful behavior guidance plan. As a parent, always think twice before getting involved in anything that your child is doing. By limiting the number of rules, requirements, and decisions, you will have less to worry about. It is true that rules are very important but they should be implemented only when it is really necessary to do so. Before you ask you child not to do something or to do something, first find out if it is really important. By so doing, you greatly reduce the chances of conflict with your child. Simply learn to remain calm as a parent and handle issues with wisdom and not with anger for you might instead worsen the situations.
Always appreciate your child each time that they do something good.
Always see on to it that in every 1 complain raise to your child about their way which you do not appreciate, there are 3 other comments appreciating them for some other thing that they did and it was pleasing to you. Always let your child know how you feel about each action that they take. This will help them to better realize how to please you by doing those things that you like and that they are highly appreciated for. Make sure a feedback is given to them on all the nice things that they do. It is better to appreciate your child when you find them cleaning their mouth very early in the morning before breakfast than simply sitting back and waiting for that day they fail to do so in order to yell at them. Although this behavior management strategy seems light, it is very efficient in directing your children towards the right path in life. These positive feedbacks about the behavior of your child will not only make them happy but will also teach them what is good and what is not good. Avoid voicing out only when you have to complain or ask them to stop doing that and that as this can likely immune them against your words. At some point in time they won’t be taking you serious any more as they keep on hearing the same complains all the time.
Assign responsibilities for your children and keep increasing them as they grow.
Assigning responsibilities for your children should be on the behavior guidance plan that you predetermined in order to prepare your children for a better future. As children grow, they are called to be responsible both at home and it school. In addition, they are also recommended to be responsible in order to make a successful living in the society. This responsibility starts somewhere. They need to be taught on how to be responsible for little things so that the can later be responsible for bigger ones. As a parent, one of your main behavioral management strategy in positively influencing your child’s life is by starting to assign for them little responsibilities which you increase as they grow older. Set responsibilities and carefully explain all the negative consequences to your children. You can assign them to pick up a little bottle of drinkable water every morning before going to school. This if they fail to do, the consequence they’ll face all alone.You can as well assign them for carrying out one or two household activities in the morning as they grow before going to school. You should also fixe a particular consequence which they shall experience if they fail in their duty. Make sure that you discuss this consequence with them and come to a perfect agreement. And as previously mentioned remember to congratulate them if the respect their duty otherwise they face the consequences reserved for failure. Take your words seriously, failure to implement your words will make your child not to belief your words, hence they won’t mind their actions or sanctions.
Be an active listener
Here comes another point to take serious in your behavior guidance plan which was predetermined in positively influencing your child to take the right decisions and do the right things in life. Active listening is an advanced form of listening which assures your child that you are completely with them when they are talking. Being sure of your total presence with them, they will be encouraged to speak more as well as open up to you. As they open up to you, you can easily pick out what needs to be appreciated about them and what needs to be adjusted in them. They consequences can be horrible when your child believes that you are never paying attention to their words. This can frustrate them and cause a lot of emotional pains that can likely affect their mental performance in school.
Make things simple for your child
Before getting annoyed with your child because of any of their actions. Make sure that you had previously discussed it over with him and came to a clear conclusion. Even in cases of failure to respect your wish, you can still give him another chance to make it up to level. If after this, things are not still moving for the best, you can decide to apply the consequences that were previously reserved. Always keep things simple and relax with your children but know the limits of each situation. Merely discuss about stealing with your child, bring out the consequences and reasons you won’t appreciate them stealing. Talk to them about lies telling; why they should not tell lies and the consequences of lies telling. Make sure you both are ok with the different sanctions should follow in case they disrespect you. You should as well teach them to respect the elderly people and give them the importance why they should do so.
Make your child feel important
On your behavior guidance plan to successfully drill your child to a positive behavior, make sure you do not forget the importance of making the child feel loved and protected. Assure your child that they are important in the eyes of the entire family, assign them in charge of one or two things they can do for the good of the family.
The importance of behavioral therapy
Behavioral therapy is that which assists and treats people with mental health disorders due to one or two reasons. It is highly important for parents to take upon behavioral therapy in severe cases of mental issues with their children. If as a parent, you realize that your child is suffering from any of the following mental issues immediately call upon medical assistance. These issues are; anger, depression, panic and fear. Although being natural human responses, if they happen to last long on a child, then that child needs proper behavioral therapy treatment.
Behavioral therapy has helped so many children in the world today. It is based on the principle that all behaviors are learned and can be modified.
Behavioral therapy can as well treat several conditions such as unhealthy eating habits, bipolar problems, substance abuse, and self-harm.
The Power of Positive Thinking
Together lets help build a better society by training our children to be better leaders through the power of positive thinking. Positive thinking is synonymous to a miracle pile. Once your child grows with the spirit of positivity he would move mountains. Help the child set very little and attainable objectives. Once it is achieved, they will be encouraged. You will soon realize them telling you, mom, dad, by a certain period, one, two objectives will be attained.
Influencing our children’s behavior is a process and its wealth our time and resources. It is preferable to spend time to build a child’s life than to spend time trying to adjust it.