Shakespeare once asked the famous question ‘’what is love’’, he was not the first neither the last. Our ancestors did ponder the same question so many years ago, whereby they did have their own answers. Today each and every one after asking self this very question ‘’ what is love’’ would obviously have something to say, what does the word love means? There exist so many kinds of love. But generally it is believed and accepted by many that, human beings have actually evolved three basic brain networks when it comes to loving throughout the long evolutional past. This was actually brought about as they courted, mated, reproduce young ones and did rear these young ones. These three basic brain networks when it comes to love are lust, romantic attraction and attachment. As days kept on going by thus turning into years and centuries, nature did not dare to keep back those who failed to reproduce but weeded them out. After which came the hardwiring of the three distinct systems of seeing love in to the human brain.
Today each brain system is completely associated with a different set of primary neurochemicals together with the brain networks. The craving for sexual gratification can eventually be referred to as lust. Lust is primarily associated with testosterone in an equal manner in both men and women. Romantic attraction has to do with the heightened energy, focussed attention, obsessive thinking, elation and yearning of new, fresh love. Romantic attraction is greatly associated with the elevated brain activities of norepinephrine together with dopamine. Dopamine and norepinephrine are natural body stimulants. And finally the attachment which is the last but not the least has to do with the calm and emotional union which one feels with time often with a long term partner. Attraction is actually associated with vasopressin and oxytocin. In addition to each of the above proposition to ‘’what is love’’, each of the above brain networks did develop to direct a completely different aspect of the human reproduction.
Lust eventually drives to copulation with any available and slightly appropriate partner. Romantic attraction which could obviously be referred to as obsessive love, romantic love or being in love does motivate the preference and pursue of a specific mating partner. Romantic love does conserve precious courtship time together with energy. There exist feelings of attachments capable of uniting new parents to stay together the time to rare a child. Romantic love is actually a universal experience which is deeply embedded into the human brain. In fact the drive for love is greatly stronger than the drive for sex, as this is proven by the fact so many have committed suicide after having been rejected by a beloved.
Navigating a love relationship and making it last has principles. These bprinciples have to do with learning in detail how to keep all things in perspectives and dealing with all trust issues so as to find a love relationship that will last.
Tips for finding a healthy love relationship
- Never rely on first impressions
- Even if you disagree, still give a listening ear to all that others have for you
- In social situations unplug from technology
- Make it a priority having fun
- Learn from experience and not dwell on rejection and failure in past relationships
- Be careful of the controlling behaviour and a jealousy one
- Limit your rules and expectations for having so many would make it difficult to find a love relationship and making it long lasting
What prevents us from experiencing a long lasting love relationship?
Life as a single person generally offers so many benefits, one of which is learning how to build a health and strong relationship with self. Nevertheless if you are ready for accepting to share your life with a partner thereby building a long lasting love relationship, it is still a good idea for life as a single is sometimes very frustrating. For lots of reasons, finding the right partner for a long lasting love relationship is often a difficult journey. So many people do base themselves on their past failures in love relationships thereby creating a barrier even for the possible long lasting relationships they could build. So many people have developed so many expectations and principles they are expecting from their partners thus there is always trouble which often bring an end to all possible long lasting relationships. In looking for a long lasting relationship, it is very important to note the fact perfect love relationships are impossible and require lots of hard work, willingness and effort put in place to resolve all conflicts in a positive manner. In order to find and build a long lasting love relationship, start by reviewing some of your misconceptions concerning a love relationship that can actually prevent you from finding a long lasting love relationship.
To be noted is the fact that there is nothing as unhealthy and displeasing as being in a bad love relationship. Nevertheless there exist lots of healthy benefits that come from a healthy love relationship. If you have no feelings for someone, it is eventually of no worth pursuing the relationship. When it comes to a love relationship, both men and women feel the same things but because of the societies conventions they do express it in different ways. Always remember physical attraction does fates over time whereas true love is constant and never fading. So getting into a love relationship make sure it is not for physical attraction. In life people only change when and if they want to so in a love relationship never try to forcefully change your partner otherwise the relationship might be short lasting as misunderstandings might arise so often. Nevertheless you can still find suitable ways to convince your partner for a change and not using the hard way, for if your partner should be convinced and ready for a change, it is never too late for any change in behavioural pattern. Although conflicts could be a source of growth in a love relation they often create problems in a relationship.
Tips for finding the right partner for a love relationship
- It is wise finding a sensual partner than a sexy partner
- It is wise to find a caring partner than a beautiful or handsome partner
- It is wise to find a partner who is a little mysterious than glamorous
- It is better to find a partner who is humorous than wealthy
- It is wise finding a curious partner than an intelligent one for curious people easily learn and grow with time whereas is not the case with those who are intelligent but lack curiosity
- It is wise to find a partner from a family with similar values as yours rather than from a special ethnic or group.
Take on needs rather than wants for needs are the primary things that do matter very much to a person rather than wants which are not different from desires. Some examples of needs are values, goals and ambitions in life which cannot possibly be read from just admiring a person at first side on the street or reading their dating profile on a dating site.
A healthy love relationship is actually the phenomenon whereby two people develop a connection based on the following points:
- Equality and fairness
- Mutual respect
- Separate identities
- A sense of playfulness
- Good communication
Finding someone to love
Keep things in perspective
Never make the search for someone to love the centre of your life. Just do things in a natural way and concentrate in your career, activities you enjoy, health and relationship with friends and families. The focus on keeping yourself happy would obviously bring a balance in all domains of your life thereby making you a more interesting person when you eventually meet someone special.
Remember the first impression is not always reliable, this is true especially when it comes to cases like internet dating, where people do not always portray themselves accurately. Regardless of the place and conditions you meet someone, you need time to better know the person. An experience of being with someone in different conditions is necessary. Some of the conditions good and others not very good before you can stand for the fact you know the person and can get into a love relationship. Examples of such moments could be how the person copes with pressure, when they are frustrated, ill, tired, angry and even hungry.
See on investing in a vertical relationship before investing on a horizontal relationship when searching for someone to love. That is just don’t be too quick in making a love relationship sexual as it is generally difficult developing a vertical relationship afterwards. Put much effort in knowing someone very well before engaging into sexual life even though it might be difficult this our days. For sexual life in a love relationship would only lead to a more satisfying relationship down the road at the right time.
Build a genuine connection
Always focus outward and not inward when searching for someone to love, by trying by all ways possible to be fully present at the moment in what your date is saying and doing together with what is happening around. This will actually help free you from doubts and non-founded thoughts at mind.
Always stay curious for the best way to connect with anybody new is to show great interest. Being deeply curious of some one’s thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, opinions, stories and past life experiences would make them appreciate and like you for that. You would eventually gain more favour by doing so than just passing time trying to promote yourself beside your date.
Be genuine in all that you do for showing interest in others can’t be faked. Show a true concern and interest to your date for if you are just pretending to listen or care, your date will soon pick up on what you are doing and that won’t be pleasing at all. It is clear that no one wants to be manipulated or given a deaf ear. There is just little point in pursuing the relationship further if you are not genuinely interested in your date.
Always pay attention thereby making much effort to listen to the other person. This is actually done by paying attention to their thoughts which they express by words and actions, feelings and the way they interact. By so doing you quickly know them in a better way. Little things often go a long way, like remembering your date’s favourite colour, preferences, and the different stories they have told you and what is actually going on in their lives.
Make sure you put the device away for it is not possible to truly pay attention to anyone or forge a good relationship when you are multitasking. Subtle gestures and non-verbal communications can inform us on what is going on the other persons head, and such gestures can be gotten only and only if complete attention and care is paid to the other.
Make it a priority having fun
Whatever be it that dating expert might ask you to listen, there is always a difference between finding the right career and a long lasting love relationship. Being a single person, think of your free time as a great opportunity exploring and meeting new people thereby expanding your social circle for you don’t know where you shall eventually find someone to love.
Tips for finding likeminded people and funding activities
- Could opt working as a volunteer for a favourite charity, political campaign and animal shelter
- You could eventually take an extension class at a local university or college
- Could possibly sign up for art classes, dancing classes and even cooking classes
- Always attend local food and wine testing events
- Be creative
The word love has been used for centuries. Each and every individual did give their own way of defining the word love as well as giving their own meaning. Some have even gone up to the extent of listing a set of conditions they associate the word love to, these words are:
Most women in considering the word love would always look for the above in a man, they might just have different priorities. However the true meaning of love for Christians comes from the almighty God with no restrictions or conditions attached to.